04-25-2019, 12:59 AM
Realized I played on day 5 yesterday. So I'll do my 2 day break starting tonight.
The declutter module is showing up this morning. Got out of my shower, and focused my eyes right on my unmade bed, walking forward, kicking stuff out of the way. In my mind I felt exhilarated since I saw clean. Something else is in this realization though.
When I see clean in my mind, I'm looking at one spot. A single area. My room symbolizes a lot of my life. Literally, my eyes almost always scan my entire room, knowing this is undone, that there too, and it encourages anxiety. Like I depend on it.
I realize I've been doing this at work too. Those big picture scans, promoting insecurity in me. Like I'm reliving some childhood norm, the norm of fear and uncertainty.
Going into work, but thought I'd drop that. It's so true.
The declutter module is showing up this morning. Got out of my shower, and focused my eyes right on my unmade bed, walking forward, kicking stuff out of the way. In my mind I felt exhilarated since I saw clean. Something else is in this realization though.
When I see clean in my mind, I'm looking at one spot. A single area. My room symbolizes a lot of my life. Literally, my eyes almost always scan my entire room, knowing this is undone, that there too, and it encourages anxiety. Like I depend on it.
I realize I've been doing this at work too. Those big picture scans, promoting insecurity in me. Like I'm reliving some childhood norm, the norm of fear and uncertainty.
Going into work, but thought I'd drop that. It's so true.
I want to be FREE!
