I’ve noticed a few more thing.
- That nervous tic where I tightened my abs is all the way gone. At first, I still had the impulse to do it, but it kind of canceled. Now, even that is gone.
- I used to make self deprecating jokes all the time. Since I was a kid really. I was actually ripping on myself and being really mean about it. It occurred to me that I don’t remember the last time I did that. I’m not sure if that ended sometime during my USLM run or on LTU, but I don’t do that anymore. Now, if I joke about myself it’s about how awesome I am. You know, sounding more arrogant than I actually am. Because not only am I awesome, but I’m awesomely humble too.
- The default setting on most of my thoughts that rose to the surface of my consciousness used to be negative. Positive thinking used to take effort. I’d have to constantly catch the bad thoughts and turn them into positive ones, and it felt like I was pushing something each time. The negative thoughts (imaginings, visualizations, etc) popped up instantly and fully formed. The positive ones had to be formed, and even when I did that, they lacked some kind of power. Now it’s mostly reversed. (I don’t know that exactly, why would I bother to painstakingly form negative thoughts?). I still have a negative thought now and then, of course, but they are fleeting and don’t make much of an impact.
- I feel genuinely good about the future. Whichever way things go with my wife, or anything else, the rest of my life is going to be much better than the past. I can see both things happening and being great. I can see things getting better, and is living harmoniously for the rest of our lives.
I can also see that myself having a great time moving on. Maybe I’ll ahem.... test out DAMSI without restriction. Not that I need it, I did really well with women as a teen and young adult with dog crap self esteem, and no clue,. I’ve gotten enough blatant offers since then to let me know I’ve still “got it”. I wonder what I could do now. DAMSI might make it truly epic though. Then I’m sure I’d eventually meet someone else to have a better relationship with if I go that route. Both paths look great to me in the long run. Which one I go down depends on both her and me.
- I take it for granted that I will meet my goals.
- my internal critic seems to be dead. Good riddance, he was a mean bastard.
Edit: As I wrote that, I got that euphoria feeling again. Really powerful. I’ve read a couple people call it a morphine drip. It feels a lot more like I’ve heard a cocane high described. Damn, I feel on top of the world.
- That nervous tic where I tightened my abs is all the way gone. At first, I still had the impulse to do it, but it kind of canceled. Now, even that is gone.
- I used to make self deprecating jokes all the time. Since I was a kid really. I was actually ripping on myself and being really mean about it. It occurred to me that I don’t remember the last time I did that. I’m not sure if that ended sometime during my USLM run or on LTU, but I don’t do that anymore. Now, if I joke about myself it’s about how awesome I am. You know, sounding more arrogant than I actually am. Because not only am I awesome, but I’m awesomely humble too.
- The default setting on most of my thoughts that rose to the surface of my consciousness used to be negative. Positive thinking used to take effort. I’d have to constantly catch the bad thoughts and turn them into positive ones, and it felt like I was pushing something each time. The negative thoughts (imaginings, visualizations, etc) popped up instantly and fully formed. The positive ones had to be formed, and even when I did that, they lacked some kind of power. Now it’s mostly reversed. (I don’t know that exactly, why would I bother to painstakingly form negative thoughts?). I still have a negative thought now and then, of course, but they are fleeting and don’t make much of an impact.
- I feel genuinely good about the future. Whichever way things go with my wife, or anything else, the rest of my life is going to be much better than the past. I can see both things happening and being great. I can see things getting better, and is living harmoniously for the rest of our lives.
I can also see that myself having a great time moving on. Maybe I’ll ahem.... test out DAMSI without restriction. Not that I need it, I did really well with women as a teen and young adult with dog crap self esteem, and no clue,. I’ve gotten enough blatant offers since then to let me know I’ve still “got it”. I wonder what I could do now. DAMSI might make it truly epic though. Then I’m sure I’d eventually meet someone else to have a better relationship with if I go that route. Both paths look great to me in the long run. Which one I go down depends on both her and me.
- I take it for granted that I will meet my goals.
- my internal critic seems to be dead. Good riddance, he was a mean bastard.
Edit: As I wrote that, I got that euphoria feeling again. Really powerful. I’ve read a couple people call it a morphine drip. It feels a lot more like I’ve heard a cocane high described. Damn, I feel on top of the world.
