LTU 5.5g Journey

[findingme]

What have your results been with LTU and what were the overall results from it?

I did 2 weeks of LTU5, pulled off due to having been on another vendor's subs (they conflicted), then returned last week.

I'm still getting results, some painful, and some relieving. I've been hidden in denial much of my life having been raised in an alcoholic home, and LTU goes straight to the root.

I feel sad just mentioning those things--but I did just start my hybrid loops. I began LTU primarily since it had Universal Detox (UD) in it, which I own and used for almost 3 full months. What I first remember about my UD run was the ending, where I was not afraid to be honest. That was incredibly freeing. But being a mental and emotional detox, it was shaking off my bullshit quickly when I started it, and I grieved a lot since I had clung to old beliefs and lies for decades.

I've felt that sadness rise while on LTU, but it's not as pointed as it was running it solo, for me. But hiding from obvious truths, an old family coping mechanism, was ingrained heavily into me. I began LTU mostly for that release, that shedding of lies. It's happening. I'm just finally agreeing with Shannon that just because it's quiet doesn't mean it's not working.

Hiding from my truths also makes me feel incompetent around others. It takes so much mental energy to deny fricken truths. Like I know stuff, but opening my mouth I can feel afraid and invite teasing. So I keep my thoughts to myself a lot.

And LTU is working on them. Running LTU now, I am still feeling sad. Even scared of possible changes which may happen.


Me writing you earlier made me check myself too. I was like "go talk to somebody!", yet I've been home alone this weekend myself. I realized when I don't give of myself in relationships, I get depressed. I've avoided my ex and my mom this weekend, I just got back from Walmart, and I texted both. I am still prone to lying on the phone, so I began by texting. I've been avoiding my sister too............

I realize that old fears of giving all of myself away (for the sake of an unhealthy relationship) have been very active. I gave a lot of my life away when younger, having learned to depend solely on a sibling growing up. E3 and UD inside LTU are working on this, or it'd not be on my mind.

This is where I am with LTU (began crying just now). I use it to heal me, and it is.