(04-06-2019, 02:39 PM)mat422 Wrote: Thanks man. Guess I was going through a fog there. I seem to be past it.
Update on my life. I went to see Kevin Saunderson last night. If you don't know who he is, he's basically one of the founders of Detroit Techno. Absolutely insane set he performed. And just feeling that music brought on an almost enlightenment with my own stuff. I've been so bogged down in the technical, trying to get things really polished, but music is so intangible. Even if you can dissect an artist and copy everything they do, you won't be them. And that's what I love about music, when coming from the heart it's an amazing form of self expression.
I thought about how I'm always worried if my stuff sucks. I honestly didn't realize just how much I was making my music for other people. Or rather trying to appease other people. My biggest block is entering that self critical mode while creating where I question everything or even fear something sounding bad. But when I was listening to Kevin's set I realized the way his music was making me feel was something I haven't felt about my own music in a long time. And that's so wrong.
I'm not gonna say the technical isn't important, especially in electronic music. But you can see beyond the technical if the music is good. And I realized, what do I really want out of my music? And what can I let go of so the process is more fun and fulfilling to me? I basically settled on the fact that the music always comes first. I'll work on the technical as much as possible and won't give up, but that isn't my main goal. It's time I took the pressure away from being amazing at everything and just enjoy the process.
It's funny because I KNOW for a fact if I dropped that attitude I would be much happier with my music. And yet there's a fear that says if you don't obsess on this you'll never be great. But that desire for greatness and to be admired, it just stems from self esteem issues. That's the trap. I just have to work past that fear. It tugs at me. This isn't just music, I think this is my perfectionist side. Always pulling me back in, trying to convince me if I continue to beat myself up and burn myself out that's the way to greatness.
Ask yourself why you need to be great? Is "being great" maybe something that just is a picture in your mind? I read something Kygo said that "he always just wanted to make music to play for his friend in his backyard" and that really gave me the picture about what it's all about - enjoying yourself with other people. That's where the emotions and joy come from which is ultimately needed "to become great", not the other way around.
