Day 11-13 second cycle.
Felt okay day 11 still. Nothing to report i think me crushing on this girl so bad maybe slowling down any progress. Im investing too much energy and thought and time into her. Trying to snipe her. Im struggling to move on. She has a boyfriend and is investing in him. My work is the effect of this.
Day 12 woke up in the morning fine, but at work tears just started to flow. Not sure why the tears.
Day 13 went to bed super aroused woke up aroused. I'm still fearful of saying whats on my mind, dont want to loose her, but she said she cant talk to me any more and that she will commit to her boyfriend, so i lost her anyway.
My fears and insecurities are deep rooted maybe even the base of my roots, its going to be very difficult to up root them. I dont know what happened when i was younger for this to happen. I know my parents are emotionally unavailable to me and i really don't connect with anyone apart from this girl.
Edit: I'm thinking how the film industry and society has made men weak, made me so weak, i behave needy and available around the girl. When i ran Alpha male it didnt fo much for me atleast not that i noticed. But I need to work consciously to help my self. Just need jolt to my self esteem and confidence and ego but the right kind of ego.
Felt okay day 11 still. Nothing to report i think me crushing on this girl so bad maybe slowling down any progress. Im investing too much energy and thought and time into her. Trying to snipe her. Im struggling to move on. She has a boyfriend and is investing in him. My work is the effect of this.
Day 12 woke up in the morning fine, but at work tears just started to flow. Not sure why the tears.
Day 13 went to bed super aroused woke up aroused. I'm still fearful of saying whats on my mind, dont want to loose her, but she said she cant talk to me any more and that she will commit to her boyfriend, so i lost her anyway.
My fears and insecurities are deep rooted maybe even the base of my roots, its going to be very difficult to up root them. I dont know what happened when i was younger for this to happen. I know my parents are emotionally unavailable to me and i really don't connect with anyone apart from this girl.
Edit: I'm thinking how the film industry and society has made men weak, made me so weak, i behave needy and available around the girl. When i ran Alpha male it didnt fo much for me atleast not that i noticed. But I need to work consciously to help my self. Just need jolt to my self esteem and confidence and ego but the right kind of ego.
