03-27-2019, 03:52 PM
Still on ASRB break. Today was a bit strange.
-I noticed that I was kind of arguing with myself. I have some old issues related to stuff that happened in my childhood. My childhood was shall we say, less than idelic, so there are more than a couple of issues from it. I was kind of takking to myself, (I know this is going to sound nuts, it’s not, but this is the only way I can think to describe it.). One me said “it’s really time that you let all that go””.”. The other me said something like “We can’t let that go, we’ve been defining ourselves by it all of our lives.” I got a strong feeling of attachment to the old traumas, and a fear of letting them go. Kind of like I’d be letting go of all the good things that were kind of attached to them. No, I’m not actually hearing voices, and there really is only one me. I’m sure that this argument has been running in my subconscious for a while now, I was just able to “hear” it today. Neither of the voices seemed to be “the real me” just (I guess) parts of me.
-At the store today, I actually naturally made eye contact with random people and smiled at them. My posture was great, I’m walking like I own the place, and I actively felt GOOD in a crowded public place. This is borderline miraculous.
-I noticed that I was kind of arguing with myself. I have some old issues related to stuff that happened in my childhood. My childhood was shall we say, less than idelic, so there are more than a couple of issues from it. I was kind of takking to myself, (I know this is going to sound nuts, it’s not, but this is the only way I can think to describe it.). One me said “it’s really time that you let all that go””.”. The other me said something like “We can’t let that go, we’ve been defining ourselves by it all of our lives.” I got a strong feeling of attachment to the old traumas, and a fear of letting them go. Kind of like I’d be letting go of all the good things that were kind of attached to them. No, I’m not actually hearing voices, and there really is only one me. I’m sure that this argument has been running in my subconscious for a while now, I was just able to “hear” it today. Neither of the voices seemed to be “the real me” just (I guess) parts of me.
-At the store today, I actually naturally made eye contact with random people and smiled at them. My posture was great, I’m walking like I own the place, and I actively felt GOOD in a crowded public place. This is borderline miraculous.
