I’m on the first night of ASRB break #4. This week wasn’t as smooth. I think because I didn’t get my loops in on the first day. I found out when I got to work that I had a trainee with me, so I had to take my earbuds out. This did show me that my ability to be patient has improved, because this person would have annoyed the holy hell out of me a while ago, but it wasn’t that bad and I spent most of the night crammed in a space designed for one person with him.
I tried to start my loops again when I went to bed, but at some point while I was sleeping, my two year old got in and unplugged my bedphones. So one day was scrubbed, but I got the other three in just fine. There seems to be an effect from the hiccup though.
-I got more of the lines of thought that caused me to kind of focus inward and become angry. Though I must there were still fewer of them than before this sub. Also it was easier for me to notice that they were happening, and interrupt the process. The fantasies (I really don’t know what to call these episodes) were also less intense and so was the anger. However, whatever causes this problem is still there and being worked on.
-I’ve been getting a bit more irritated at the wife’s criticism, but still not nearly as bad as it was.
I still have the sense that the new positive traits are the “real me” where the negative thinking was before. However, the old patterns tried a bit harder to re assert themselves this week. They didn’t gain any ground though, not in a lasting way. When I think about it, it’s kind of like something trying to rise from a swimming pool with a thick tarp over it. You can tell it’s there, you can tell it’s trying to get out, but it can’t do so.
I think my lesson this week is to make sure I keep using it according to instructions, and possibly doing a little too much is better than too little If stuff happens.
I tried to start my loops again when I went to bed, but at some point while I was sleeping, my two year old got in and unplugged my bedphones. So one day was scrubbed, but I got the other three in just fine. There seems to be an effect from the hiccup though.
-I got more of the lines of thought that caused me to kind of focus inward and become angry. Though I must there were still fewer of them than before this sub. Also it was easier for me to notice that they were happening, and interrupt the process. The fantasies (I really don’t know what to call these episodes) were also less intense and so was the anger. However, whatever causes this problem is still there and being worked on.
-I’ve been getting a bit more irritated at the wife’s criticism, but still not nearly as bad as it was.
I still have the sense that the new positive traits are the “real me” where the negative thinking was before. However, the old patterns tried a bit harder to re assert themselves this week. They didn’t gain any ground though, not in a lasting way. When I think about it, it’s kind of like something trying to rise from a swimming pool with a thick tarp over it. You can tell it’s there, you can tell it’s trying to get out, but it can’t do so.
I think my lesson this week is to make sure I keep using it according to instructions, and possibly doing a little too much is better than too little If stuff happens.
