03-11-2019, 04:34 PM
Be the observer really stuck with me today. I found myself reminding myself of it all day whenever I would start to get stuck in my emotions. They are all temporary, the less attention I give them, the faster they will pass.
I got a new perspective on my life. I kept focusing on how much I disliked my situation, but I dug myself further and further into a hole of permanence. I framed my entire potential, the possibilities out there, and my future based on this one job I've been at and my situation tied to it. I've had tunnel vision for a long time now. I only saw the path that I deemed possible and it wasn't a path I wanted to go down. But I kept going down it anyway because of fear.
Reality. What I called the truth of life was nothing more than my own limited beliefs projected on the world. For those who tried and failed I'd use that as evidence that only "lucky" or gifted people excelled. For every amazing thing that happened to a person I'd look for the cracks in it, try to tear it apart and expose the fakeness of it. For every person suffering I'd empathize and take on the belief that the world is a cold uncaring cruel place where you have to fight for survival. All of them only seemed more "real" to me because it's all I've ever experienced.
I kept waiting for LTU to change me. But it's a tool. I have to be the observer. I have to change my perspective. I have to understand on a deep level that my entire life is my own creation. If I have fears of LTU not working, I created those fears. If I slip up, I'm responsible for righting myself again. There's no dependency on LTU to "work" because I'm the one making these changes.
I got a new perspective on my life. I kept focusing on how much I disliked my situation, but I dug myself further and further into a hole of permanence. I framed my entire potential, the possibilities out there, and my future based on this one job I've been at and my situation tied to it. I've had tunnel vision for a long time now. I only saw the path that I deemed possible and it wasn't a path I wanted to go down. But I kept going down it anyway because of fear.
Reality. What I called the truth of life was nothing more than my own limited beliefs projected on the world. For those who tried and failed I'd use that as evidence that only "lucky" or gifted people excelled. For every amazing thing that happened to a person I'd look for the cracks in it, try to tear it apart and expose the fakeness of it. For every person suffering I'd empathize and take on the belief that the world is a cold uncaring cruel place where you have to fight for survival. All of them only seemed more "real" to me because it's all I've ever experienced.
I kept waiting for LTU to change me. But it's a tool. I have to be the observer. I have to change my perspective. I have to understand on a deep level that my entire life is my own creation. If I have fears of LTU not working, I created those fears. If I slip up, I'm responsible for righting myself again. There's no dependency on LTU to "work" because I'm the one making these changes.
INFP
