03-07-2019, 08:11 AM
Hmm, it's confusing with the date record as I listen to it during the night.
Currently listening to the last of 2nd cycle. Today was supposed to be 3rd day, not yesterday. (And it will be 4th day next time I come back to report.)
Today, I didn't notice much, except feeling that how negativity can spread very quickly, and very difficult to remain optimistic and maintain positive attitude when I'm surrounded by negative people. (People that radiate negative energy, and people who are filled with negativity.)
The other conscript feels like he has lots of negativity, and because he just moved next to me that is spreading to me. I can totally understand why he's like that, but it feels like it's spreading. I'm trying to contain it, but it isn't all that easy.
Also, gov employee and one of the superior is somewhat acting more negatively to me. It's nuanced, but I somehow feel it.
I also noticed one of terrible aspects at this place; all the good work I do or the other conscript do gets credited to either the superior (many of the times) or to other gov employees. For instance, the superior decided that it was the time to move desk, pretty much at the beginning of the work hour. Okay, we did that. (Moving and storing the desk required a lot of re-organizing in the storage.) Then he basically told us to clean the empty area. Well, basically, I did all the vacuuming.
Oh and later, I heard another superior talking to the guy who is going to replace her next week (well, one of the superior is being called to the city hall, change of department, and this guy is supposed to come and replace her. I really don't understand the rotation system of this place, or this municipality such that things look so random. Someone who stayed nearly the double amount is stuck, while someone who's just been assigned for 6 months get called up and that. (Not her, but there was previous case of this.)) and this superior was basically praising the other superior on how he cleaned up all the stuff and now it looks so clean.
Technically he participated, and he did some work. Did he do the most of the work? Actually no, that would be the other gov employee, and the other conscript. (I wouldn't say that I did most of the work, but I did some work.) I suppose if order counts that much, then he can get the credit. (Maybe she's right. If it wasn't for the highest ranking person thinking the need fill in the empty spot at the gov employee section and get rid of empty spots at the conscripts area. (which is quite odd, as they have been trying to get more people). Oh yes, the segregation has gotten more explicit and stronger.)
Oh and I also remember how my good work can get distorted and become something to promote their good work, when it really isn't the case.
I didn't really think about this up until now, but after hearing that incident (the superior talking to the person who is going to replace her) and after going through this week's event of doing all the work that is really contrary to my own thoughts/reasoning (i.e. getting rid of all empty spots when they are trying to get more people. Wouldn't it send a signal that the place is full that they don't need any more people? If it were me, I'd leave the spot as it is and wait for the audit guy to show up. And I'll tell the employees to go slowly, but not so slowly to be caught, so that it gets even more crowded with people waiting to get gov paper work done. I think this makes more sense, if I feel I'm very understaffed, and need to make a strong appeal for reinforcement of gov employees.), it made me think about how difficult it is to remain positive when in a very negative and toxic environment. I suppose I thought about it previously, I think I have felt it more strongly today.
So far I think and feel that LTU is doing something. I think the results I have gotten have both positives and negatives. Hopefully, only positives will come very soon.
On the LTU usage note, I just read Shannon's response about how LTU 4/5 benefits from higher volumes. Since I'm using it during the sleep, I can't use hybrid or masked version if I were to raise volume. Therefore, I'm going to be switching to silent/ultrasonic. I don't know if it's lucky or a bad thing, but I don't hear ultrasound anymore. (I suppose I'm hitting the age in which I'm losing ability in hearing certain range of sounds.) Besides, silent/ultrasonic may accommodate my personality better.
We shall see.
Currently listening to the last of 2nd cycle. Today was supposed to be 3rd day, not yesterday. (And it will be 4th day next time I come back to report.)
Today, I didn't notice much, except feeling that how negativity can spread very quickly, and very difficult to remain optimistic and maintain positive attitude when I'm surrounded by negative people. (People that radiate negative energy, and people who are filled with negativity.)
The other conscript feels like he has lots of negativity, and because he just moved next to me that is spreading to me. I can totally understand why he's like that, but it feels like it's spreading. I'm trying to contain it, but it isn't all that easy.
Also, gov employee and one of the superior is somewhat acting more negatively to me. It's nuanced, but I somehow feel it.
I also noticed one of terrible aspects at this place; all the good work I do or the other conscript do gets credited to either the superior (many of the times) or to other gov employees. For instance, the superior decided that it was the time to move desk, pretty much at the beginning of the work hour. Okay, we did that. (Moving and storing the desk required a lot of re-organizing in the storage.) Then he basically told us to clean the empty area. Well, basically, I did all the vacuuming.
Oh and later, I heard another superior talking to the guy who is going to replace her next week (well, one of the superior is being called to the city hall, change of department, and this guy is supposed to come and replace her. I really don't understand the rotation system of this place, or this municipality such that things look so random. Someone who stayed nearly the double amount is stuck, while someone who's just been assigned for 6 months get called up and that. (Not her, but there was previous case of this.)) and this superior was basically praising the other superior on how he cleaned up all the stuff and now it looks so clean.
Technically he participated, and he did some work. Did he do the most of the work? Actually no, that would be the other gov employee, and the other conscript. (I wouldn't say that I did most of the work, but I did some work.) I suppose if order counts that much, then he can get the credit. (Maybe she's right. If it wasn't for the highest ranking person thinking the need fill in the empty spot at the gov employee section and get rid of empty spots at the conscripts area. (which is quite odd, as they have been trying to get more people). Oh yes, the segregation has gotten more explicit and stronger.)
Oh and I also remember how my good work can get distorted and become something to promote their good work, when it really isn't the case.
I didn't really think about this up until now, but after hearing that incident (the superior talking to the person who is going to replace her) and after going through this week's event of doing all the work that is really contrary to my own thoughts/reasoning (i.e. getting rid of all empty spots when they are trying to get more people. Wouldn't it send a signal that the place is full that they don't need any more people? If it were me, I'd leave the spot as it is and wait for the audit guy to show up. And I'll tell the employees to go slowly, but not so slowly to be caught, so that it gets even more crowded with people waiting to get gov paper work done. I think this makes more sense, if I feel I'm very understaffed, and need to make a strong appeal for reinforcement of gov employees.), it made me think about how difficult it is to remain positive when in a very negative and toxic environment. I suppose I thought about it previously, I think I have felt it more strongly today.
So far I think and feel that LTU is doing something. I think the results I have gotten have both positives and negatives. Hopefully, only positives will come very soon.
On the LTU usage note, I just read Shannon's response about how LTU 4/5 benefits from higher volumes. Since I'm using it during the sleep, I can't use hybrid or masked version if I were to raise volume. Therefore, I'm going to be switching to silent/ultrasonic. I don't know if it's lucky or a bad thing, but I don't hear ultrasound anymore. (I suppose I'm hitting the age in which I'm losing ability in hearing certain range of sounds.) Besides, silent/ultrasonic may accommodate my personality better.
We shall see.
