My healing journey - E2, Cold showers, Root chakra meditation

[Greenduck]

I'm finally starting to feel boundaries between myself and other people. Like there is a "me" and that there is ok for me to have a sense of self. It's crazy writing this out, but this have seriously been the situation. My mom has really f*cked me up growing up, not feeling that I can have a different opinion and be a separate person from her, because that would cause her so much pain and turmoil. When we eat and sit down it's like she gets angry just if I don't pay attention to everything she say (and it's mostly complaining and negative things so it's no mystery why I don't want to waste my energy on that). But previously I felt very reactive to her, and how she treated me. But I'm starting to be able to keep my calm more and keep my center and not get dragged into her turmoil as I was before. I can keep my head straight and my thoughts of separateness, rather to be sucked in to her f*cked up frame. I can have a separate will and I am feeling the underlying anger and self-respect needed to have that. Not in a outlashing way, but in a self-empowering way. I guess it's guilt/shame/fear that have made me have a hard time with this before and working on those things seems to have an effect. Maybe it's even TID from E3 that have started to work.