03-04-2019, 05:50 AM
@RTBoss
Thank you for mentioning the movie. I heard about it and I watched bits of the movie. Yes, the main character (who happens to be a real life character) is a true heroic example of what's being Alpha and a great example of conscience objector. He definitely deserved the medal of honor he got rewarded.
I was going to write a long response, but I realized it was pointless, as it seems more like whining, so I am going to hold back on that part.
Still I suppose I need to describe some of the challenges at work, while trying not to whine about it. One of the challenging part (other than seeing occasional legally questionable works) is the needless work/BS that I need to deal on pretty much daily basis. For instance, I genuinely think that the government employees (many of them, if not most of them) are creating some BS/needless work for the sake of their performance evaluation, and I am being used for that. The funny thing (and a sad thing) is that most of the time (if not all the time) they try to do new stuff, it actually is worse off. (Though it may look good on the performance evaluation and their chance of promotion.) Worst part? It's usually me that gets sacrificed in the process; I am usually the one that needs to carry out the needless and often unnecessary if not detrimental work for me (i.e. need to carry out heavy physical work, while having inflammation on arms and shoulders,) and for the citizens (works that results in waste of taxpayer's money... waste of budget, and that usually ends up the office to request more budget from the city hall.) Hell, if this was a job, I'd just quit, but since it's a conscript, I can't just quit. This is one thing that's fucked up, but like you said fucked up things happen in life. I'd be able to accept it more easily if it was based on my choice, not a forced on.
Oh yeah, I tried to change that by trying to object, raise concerns and etc.... It didn't work. Do you know how difficult it is to try making a guy think who's only used to taking orders and following them without questioning? (Trying to bypass the hierarchical structure can also be very difficult, I found, and can also result in some unforeseen consequences.) I suppose I can go even more crazy by going public, but that's gonna bite real hard. For instance, there is a specific prohibition that prevents conscripts like me from participating in politics. Well, going public, going journalism route could seem doing politics. And two, I've heard too many stories in which a guy like me try to do something similar, but ended up in much worse hell hole.
After reading your response, it made me think about this. LTU has a module that is about "doing the right thing." What would be a right thing? Trying to fix things and trying to tell the others at work a better way or a better solution while risking myself potential trouble? Or ignore the hopeless people who's clearly not ready to listen or to grow and focus on my own?
I don't know. Old me (I'm talking very old me) would try to choose the first way, but semi-old/newer me would more likely to choose the second one, as I now seem to understand more that there's so much one can do when the other isn't ready nor willing. At the same time, I don't want to be too pessimistic on people; it feels too pessimistic to let go all the hope on people (in this case would be people at my work.)
However, I can tell you this, I did a few right things at work. One time, I didn't neglect a woman who's a victim of domestic violence, even when I was told to ignore her. (This woman seemed to have some sort of memory issue, and the government employees began ignoring her after telling a few things several times. (What good would that do if her memory is like that of Drew Barrymore in 50 first kisses) I noticed that, and I couldn't just sit still and ignore her, especially after I noticed the memory issue.) There were other situations in which I did similar things (deliberately going out of ways to provide/trying to do right to those who are actually in need).
Based on this, I suppose I am an Alpha, doing things that are right but can also cause challenges. Still, I haven't yet done/or achieved things that I believe need addressing at fundamental level.
Doing the right thing or being an alpha, whatever it is, I am also curious to see what choice I will make.
I was hoping that LTU will end my conscription prematurely. Now, I am thinking about these stuff in more depth?
And BTW, I still need to make that one goal, and damn it's hard.
Ending conscription early while doing whatever necessary to start building my next stage of life. Is this one goal statement or two goal statement?
Besides it still needs refining to include things beneficial way/legal way and etc.
Anyway, I'm going to take things slowly, but will try to do it right for the goal statement.
Thank you for mentioning the movie. I heard about it and I watched bits of the movie. Yes, the main character (who happens to be a real life character) is a true heroic example of what's being Alpha and a great example of conscience objector. He definitely deserved the medal of honor he got rewarded.
I was going to write a long response, but I realized it was pointless, as it seems more like whining, so I am going to hold back on that part.
Still I suppose I need to describe some of the challenges at work, while trying not to whine about it. One of the challenging part (other than seeing occasional legally questionable works) is the needless work/BS that I need to deal on pretty much daily basis. For instance, I genuinely think that the government employees (many of them, if not most of them) are creating some BS/needless work for the sake of their performance evaluation, and I am being used for that. The funny thing (and a sad thing) is that most of the time (if not all the time) they try to do new stuff, it actually is worse off. (Though it may look good on the performance evaluation and their chance of promotion.) Worst part? It's usually me that gets sacrificed in the process; I am usually the one that needs to carry out the needless and often unnecessary if not detrimental work for me (i.e. need to carry out heavy physical work, while having inflammation on arms and shoulders,) and for the citizens (works that results in waste of taxpayer's money... waste of budget, and that usually ends up the office to request more budget from the city hall.) Hell, if this was a job, I'd just quit, but since it's a conscript, I can't just quit. This is one thing that's fucked up, but like you said fucked up things happen in life. I'd be able to accept it more easily if it was based on my choice, not a forced on.
Oh yeah, I tried to change that by trying to object, raise concerns and etc.... It didn't work. Do you know how difficult it is to try making a guy think who's only used to taking orders and following them without questioning? (Trying to bypass the hierarchical structure can also be very difficult, I found, and can also result in some unforeseen consequences.) I suppose I can go even more crazy by going public, but that's gonna bite real hard. For instance, there is a specific prohibition that prevents conscripts like me from participating in politics. Well, going public, going journalism route could seem doing politics. And two, I've heard too many stories in which a guy like me try to do something similar, but ended up in much worse hell hole.
After reading your response, it made me think about this. LTU has a module that is about "doing the right thing." What would be a right thing? Trying to fix things and trying to tell the others at work a better way or a better solution while risking myself potential trouble? Or ignore the hopeless people who's clearly not ready to listen or to grow and focus on my own?
I don't know. Old me (I'm talking very old me) would try to choose the first way, but semi-old/newer me would more likely to choose the second one, as I now seem to understand more that there's so much one can do when the other isn't ready nor willing. At the same time, I don't want to be too pessimistic on people; it feels too pessimistic to let go all the hope on people (in this case would be people at my work.)
However, I can tell you this, I did a few right things at work. One time, I didn't neglect a woman who's a victim of domestic violence, even when I was told to ignore her. (This woman seemed to have some sort of memory issue, and the government employees began ignoring her after telling a few things several times. (What good would that do if her memory is like that of Drew Barrymore in 50 first kisses) I noticed that, and I couldn't just sit still and ignore her, especially after I noticed the memory issue.) There were other situations in which I did similar things (deliberately going out of ways to provide/trying to do right to those who are actually in need).
Based on this, I suppose I am an Alpha, doing things that are right but can also cause challenges. Still, I haven't yet done/or achieved things that I believe need addressing at fundamental level.
Doing the right thing or being an alpha, whatever it is, I am also curious to see what choice I will make.
I was hoping that LTU will end my conscription prematurely. Now, I am thinking about these stuff in more depth?
And BTW, I still need to make that one goal, and damn it's hard.
Ending conscription early while doing whatever necessary to start building my next stage of life. Is this one goal statement or two goal statement?
Besides it still needs refining to include things beneficial way/legal way and etc.
Anyway, I'm going to take things slowly, but will try to do it right for the goal statement.
