Short update:
On my trip, I had no opportunity to run the prescribed number of loops without exposing someone or explaining what I was running to my buddy's wife. Some nights, I wasn't even in bed until 3 or 4 AM, and my friend was feeding me one craft beer after another. I just decided to wait until Monday night, when I knew I could get all 8 loops in. So I was off for 5 days, instead of 3. Back to running US, at only 5-6 clicks volume, on Cozy brand sleep phones.
I had some IOIs, but not much. The most notable thing I experienced on my trip was fear of death. I had an incident over the weekend, during which I was alone, downtown - in an unfamiliar city - where I actually thought I was going to get shot. It was a misunderstanding, but the fear of death was real for me. It set of a high-state of anxiety that didn't disappear until I started DMSI loops on Monday. I haven't had that fear since - which is pretty damn cool.
My libido is still down, for some reason. My attraction to my wife is still low. I haven't had sex for a few weeks, and I don't care right now. Something's going on, I'm just not sure what.
On the dream front, I had one where I was screaming at my mother. I don't know what about. I've never had a dream where I screamed at her - it's usually just my dad. I also had a dream last night where my wife and I were screaming at each other, and she tried to take my son away from me. My daughter wasn't in the dream. In the dream, she was lying about how I treated them to the people who were observing us (to justify taking my son away from me), and I felt helpless. I tried saying she was lying, and I begged her to stop lying about me. She just kept insisting I was abusive, etc. At the end of the dream, I suddenly had a very important test "the next morning" I needed to study for and get plenty of sleep for - which the fight with my wife would make impossible, thus ruining any chance of doing well. End of dream. I woke up sweating.
I'm having thoughts of running more loops for more days, without break.
On my trip, I had no opportunity to run the prescribed number of loops without exposing someone or explaining what I was running to my buddy's wife. Some nights, I wasn't even in bed until 3 or 4 AM, and my friend was feeding me one craft beer after another. I just decided to wait until Monday night, when I knew I could get all 8 loops in. So I was off for 5 days, instead of 3. Back to running US, at only 5-6 clicks volume, on Cozy brand sleep phones.
I had some IOIs, but not much. The most notable thing I experienced on my trip was fear of death. I had an incident over the weekend, during which I was alone, downtown - in an unfamiliar city - where I actually thought I was going to get shot. It was a misunderstanding, but the fear of death was real for me. It set of a high-state of anxiety that didn't disappear until I started DMSI loops on Monday. I haven't had that fear since - which is pretty damn cool.
My libido is still down, for some reason. My attraction to my wife is still low. I haven't had sex for a few weeks, and I don't care right now. Something's going on, I'm just not sure what.
On the dream front, I had one where I was screaming at my mother. I don't know what about. I've never had a dream where I screamed at her - it's usually just my dad. I also had a dream last night where my wife and I were screaming at each other, and she tried to take my son away from me. My daughter wasn't in the dream. In the dream, she was lying about how I treated them to the people who were observing us (to justify taking my son away from me), and I felt helpless. I tried saying she was lying, and I begged her to stop lying about me. She just kept insisting I was abusive, etc. At the end of the dream, I suddenly had a very important test "the next morning" I needed to study for and get plenty of sleep for - which the fight with my wife would make impossible, thus ruining any chance of doing well. End of dream. I woke up sweating.
I'm having thoughts of running more loops for more days, without break.
