02-11-2019, 03:16 PM
Day 110
A rough week, having had some resistance. Got hit hard, felt depressed and anxious, even relapsing with porn and a few other bad habits that brought me down. Kind of turned a corner a day or two ago, and felt ready to move on from that negative state.
Then last night, I had some dreams. One, in particular, rocked me. I was driving in a car, trying to escape something behind me. I was going fast down a long and straight road. In the distance, I could see something on the road. As I got closer I was trying to work out what this thing was. When I got close enough, it rose from the ground and snapped its head around staring straight into my eyes/soul. It was a huge, anaconda sized completely black snake. I jammed my foot on the brake before waking up with a gasp. I breathed heavy for a while before falling back to sleep. It might not sound like much but for whatever reason, that dream hit me hard.
Today I have been really out of it, in another world. I was not paying much attention while driving, almost making a few mistakes. Communication has been difficult like even words aren't coming out right. I tried to unlock the front door with the wrong key and it took me a while to figure out why it wasn't working. I have walked into the wrong rooms at home and forgetting what I was doing. Real spaced out but it does not seem like a bad thing, it feels like my brain is working on something important.
Anyway, thought it was worth a mention. Been having a rough patch but feel like things are going to improve.
A rough week, having had some resistance. Got hit hard, felt depressed and anxious, even relapsing with porn and a few other bad habits that brought me down. Kind of turned a corner a day or two ago, and felt ready to move on from that negative state.
Then last night, I had some dreams. One, in particular, rocked me. I was driving in a car, trying to escape something behind me. I was going fast down a long and straight road. In the distance, I could see something on the road. As I got closer I was trying to work out what this thing was. When I got close enough, it rose from the ground and snapped its head around staring straight into my eyes/soul. It was a huge, anaconda sized completely black snake. I jammed my foot on the brake before waking up with a gasp. I breathed heavy for a while before falling back to sleep. It might not sound like much but for whatever reason, that dream hit me hard.
Today I have been really out of it, in another world. I was not paying much attention while driving, almost making a few mistakes. Communication has been difficult like even words aren't coming out right. I tried to unlock the front door with the wrong key and it took me a while to figure out why it wasn't working. I have walked into the wrong rooms at home and forgetting what I was doing. Real spaced out but it does not seem like a bad thing, it feels like my brain is working on something important.
Anyway, thought it was worth a mention. Been having a rough patch but feel like things are going to improve.
