Wow. This book, "the awakened empath" is really some good stuff. I have read a couple of these kind of books, but this one really take a grounded and nuanced perspective on being an empath. it's not the "oh feel sorry for me I feel so much" that I have somewhat gotten from other books, but it really takes it on a deeper level, and investigate how sensitive people/empaths get used by other people e.g. energy-vampires and how to protect yourself from it.
While reading it I reflected about how my mom, which I have identified as a "Victim or martyr vampire" often try to get sympathy, just along the lines of the book:
"Without always receiving signs of love, thanks, and approval, victim/martyr vampires feel unworthy and unacceptable, which are feelings they try to resolve by making you feel guilty or feeding off your sympathy and empathy."
And previously I just got sucked into it, I didn't even reflect on it, just that I was tired after meeting with her. But now, I don't have the energy to withstand it, like I basically physically become shaky if she gets to me, so I have set up stronger boundaries when I had the energy to do it, and they have become stronger and stronger. I just ignore her trying to get my sympathy or empathy, but previously I just had too much fear and too little physical energy to set those boundaries. I am really looking forward to E3 to see how the protective aura will work during those circumstances, and along with that I feel that I am becoming stronger just thanks to E2 to set the boundaries that I need.
I have also realized while reading the book that as an empath I have a predisposed belief that I should help people, because I just know how much pain they are in and that it's my duty to do so. And I feel it's true, just reading the previous paragraph make me uncomfortable, because it goes so contrary to my deepest beliefs. But I am starting to understand it consciously, that I need to change this belief to become emotionally healthy.
EDIT:
Something is happening to the dynamic at home. I notice that when I stay present and grounded, my dad have a easier time to do the same. Today my mom started bitching, and my dad told her that he didn't like that and that she needed to stop. She accepted and didn't bitch more. That usually don't happen, but their is often a conflict that carries on. My mom also seem less inclined to try to go on "energy stealing attacks" on me, i don't respond to it as much.
EDIT2:
I continue reading the book and suggestions of false beliefs came up. I highlighted ever one of these as I identify with every one. It's so damn to the point for how I relate to the world. Damn this book is perfect for me.
● I am responsible for other people’s happiness.
● I am responsible for other people’s healing.
● I should always be available to those I love.
● I should always put other people first.
● I should always take care of everyone.
● If I spend time taking care of myself before others, that
makes me selfish.
● I should never get angry or hurt.
● I should always be open and happy.
● I should always be generous.
● My feelings and needs are unimportant.
● People won’t like me if I don’t take care of them.
● I’m powerless.
● I am a victim of outside circumstances.
● My gifts make me a victim of life.
● My condition is hopeless.
● There is something fundamentally wrong with me.
● If a person I love doesn't love me in return, it’s my fault.
● Life is a struggle.
● I should be the perfect friend/partner/parent/son/daughter.
● The world is always a dangerous place.
● My self-worth has to be earned.
● My problems will go away on their own in time.
● I am controlled by other people’s energy.
● I always know what other people are feeling and thinking.
EDIT3:
This weekend I went out with some old friends. I have a friend who often get into my physical space, and previously I really didn't make him stop doing it because "I felt sorry for him" - bullshit, I was afraid of physical conflict and he used that fear to get into my physical space and leech out of my energy because of his own insecurities. This time, when we came out of the restaurant he started jokingly hitting me, but it still felt like a violation, so I just hit him back and stood my ground like I haven't done before. Doing it with anger without holding back, not a very hard hit, but a hit that told him that "if you want to try this, come at me" It felt very empowering and not at all "to much". I guess I have E2 and my Muay Thai practise to thank for this.
While reading it I reflected about how my mom, which I have identified as a "Victim or martyr vampire" often try to get sympathy, just along the lines of the book:
"Without always receiving signs of love, thanks, and approval, victim/martyr vampires feel unworthy and unacceptable, which are feelings they try to resolve by making you feel guilty or feeding off your sympathy and empathy."
And previously I just got sucked into it, I didn't even reflect on it, just that I was tired after meeting with her. But now, I don't have the energy to withstand it, like I basically physically become shaky if she gets to me, so I have set up stronger boundaries when I had the energy to do it, and they have become stronger and stronger. I just ignore her trying to get my sympathy or empathy, but previously I just had too much fear and too little physical energy to set those boundaries. I am really looking forward to E3 to see how the protective aura will work during those circumstances, and along with that I feel that I am becoming stronger just thanks to E2 to set the boundaries that I need.
I have also realized while reading the book that as an empath I have a predisposed belief that I should help people, because I just know how much pain they are in and that it's my duty to do so. And I feel it's true, just reading the previous paragraph make me uncomfortable, because it goes so contrary to my deepest beliefs. But I am starting to understand it consciously, that I need to change this belief to become emotionally healthy.
EDIT:
Something is happening to the dynamic at home. I notice that when I stay present and grounded, my dad have a easier time to do the same. Today my mom started bitching, and my dad told her that he didn't like that and that she needed to stop. She accepted and didn't bitch more. That usually don't happen, but their is often a conflict that carries on. My mom also seem less inclined to try to go on "energy stealing attacks" on me, i don't respond to it as much.
EDIT2:
I continue reading the book and suggestions of false beliefs came up. I highlighted ever one of these as I identify with every one. It's so damn to the point for how I relate to the world. Damn this book is perfect for me.
● I am responsible for other people’s happiness.
● I am responsible for other people’s healing.
● I should always be available to those I love.
● I should always put other people first.
● I should always take care of everyone.
● If I spend time taking care of myself before others, that
makes me selfish.
● I should never get angry or hurt.
● I should always be open and happy.
● I should always be generous.
● My feelings and needs are unimportant.
● People won’t like me if I don’t take care of them.
● I’m powerless.
● I am a victim of outside circumstances.
● My gifts make me a victim of life.
● My condition is hopeless.
● There is something fundamentally wrong with me.
● If a person I love doesn't love me in return, it’s my fault.
● Life is a struggle.
● I should be the perfect friend/partner/parent/son/daughter.
● The world is always a dangerous place.
● My self-worth has to be earned.
● My problems will go away on their own in time.
● I am controlled by other people’s energy.
● I always know what other people are feeling and thinking.
EDIT3:
This weekend I went out with some old friends. I have a friend who often get into my physical space, and previously I really didn't make him stop doing it because "I felt sorry for him" - bullshit, I was afraid of physical conflict and he used that fear to get into my physical space and leech out of my energy because of his own insecurities. This time, when we came out of the restaurant he started jokingly hitting me, but it still felt like a violation, so I just hit him back and stood my ground like I haven't done before. Doing it with anger without holding back, not a very hard hit, but a hit that told him that "if you want to try this, come at me" It felt very empowering and not at all "to much". I guess I have E2 and my Muay Thai practise to thank for this.
