E2 after E1 (100 days)

[Greenduck]

Day 96

I had some type of breakthrough since last post but I can't explain it well or at all. I can see a pattern going and right now I am in a bit of a lull. I had my first dream last night for a while that affected me, but before that it was all static since the last "breakthrough". I don't even bother trying to understand it but I know overall that good things are happening. I do feel in a bit of haze/daze at times, especially when I am resisting, but I am noticing the cycles more now. The lulls where nothing much happens slowly ramps up with more vivid dreaming, then there is usually a bit of resistance where I want to return to old behaviors or thoughts to make myself feel better, but I keep pushing, listening even more before I have some enlightening dream that normally makes little sense, but I know it changes something deep in my mind, like releasing a fear or changing a belief. It goes something like that anyway, who knows though, it's hard to consciously process something that happens deeper.

I've had thoughts to try a new subliminal, but not for the purpose to run away from E2. I think for now I will stay with it because I wonder how many layers does this onion have. I peel back one layer, feel alight, then start working through the next layer. But overall a lot of my anxiety are gone or at least less now in respect to how I am perceived by others. Before E1, I was completely fixated worrying about what other people thought of me, but now after E1 and now E2, I am so much different and it seems to continue getting better all the time.

I can relate to the "peeling off the onion" you are talking about. Nice to hear about your progress! I also run E2 and will upgrade to E3 when it comes out to get the FRM and other nice technologies Shannon have developed since it was released.

I did not use to frequent the forum on a regular basis but lately I have been following Shannon's journal almost daily because of the new stuff happening. I don't understand the upgrades as good as the forum regulars but the FRM from what I remember sounds good. If it's able to bypass fear/resistance and allowing us to execute more easily that would be awesome.

I don't notice huge resistance doing E2, but perhaps the lull periods I describe happen because I am not ready to progress due to the go at your own pace nature of the subliminal. All just speculation, but overall I feel better within myself than I have in a long time and I also have a lot of new healthy habits that I began adopting during E1. The whole rigid all or nothing, success/failure, black and white mindset is a thing of the past, and I am able to flow a lot more through life now in both my actions and thoughts. I had a lot of dreams where I was in situations where I "failed" and rather than contract in shame, I was able to accept that it is no big deal.

Even though I am getting on in age, almost 39 now. I think I still have a lot of potential to achieve some things in life. I am not sure which direction to take with the subliminals, but I know I will keep using them from this site. They are too good to ignore, but I will need to think what direction I want to take in life. Stick with E2, upgrade to E3 or try something new like USLM4. LTU would be cool but I don't have that type of cash to spend on a subliminal. Maybe if I was single and didn't have kids I would, but I'd feel a bit selfish spending that much on myself.

Nice to hear your story, thanks for sharing. I recognize the "all or nothing" thinking and know how good it feels to live a life where you can be just content (i am getting there at least) and not being so held up on what happens around you.

Regarding your attitude towards spending money on yourself - I don't know your financial situation, but I heard a quote that said something in the sense of "the best gift you can give to your kids is your own happiness" that got me thinking about you doing stuff that is good to yourself, doesn't need to mean that they are selfish, but that you get more of the stuff inside that you can share with others.