(01-21-2019, 08:13 AM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: Hi GreenDuck, I dont mind ja asking at all..thank you for the levels of respect you express in my direction.
About A7 and being Alpha. MY father was for 40 years of his 83 yrs on this planet a raging abusive alcoholic( on the weekends) the emotional damage he did,along the way from constant verbal abuse to physical abuse,was to put it mildly devastating. I spent 35 yrs working on healing all this damage and other stuff that didnt have anything to do with him. Which,while IM grateful for the healing/clearing-healer that was heaven sent, Im pissed that I even had to spent 35 yrs of my life on earth having to do so when I could've been pursuring a helluva lot of other things.
I left home at 19,left the region at 20.
he was a complete caveman,idiot,asshole. he';s mentally brillaint,but emotional very fuked up. whew.
at 20 ,I moved 3,000 miles away( no accident) to get out of and away from all the toxic bowl-sheet going on 'in that house'...I was in my ealry 40 before I even knew that I was a natural Alpha Male.
MY Father was sooo fuking wounded and damaged emotionally that he squashed any other male in the home whom he saw as a potential threat. it was an un-believeable nightmare that I never wish on anyone. Hence the un-covering of all that stuff,so that more of who I REALLY AM could come forth,the journey continues.. what I plan to have happen is for Alpha Male 7 to allow me more and more on an on going to be in my full power on a regular,for it to allow more of who I REALLY AM to come forth and express. fearless. powerful grounded and more. I have those things now but I know I Know,there are deeper parts to go and develop.it will also help me 'refine' parts of my already natural alphaness,too!!
Intuitively I Know that A7 will help me on so many levels. without writing a full on book like war & peace:-) thats basically it.
Wow, I can't even imagine how that must have been. It's great to hear that you have discovered your confidence, even after having faced that kind of threatening upbringing. I am younger than you, almost 30, but I still get what you are saying about looking back on how your life would have been if you could have made all that suffering undone, all the opportunities you could have had. But without the suffering, I reason, you maybe wouldn't be driven to the path of healing yourself. Maybe you wouldn't be conscious until you were 40 anyway, just going through life sleepwalking. Now you have spent all those years in healing by getting to know yourself, to a deeper level than if you hadn't met that suffering. And in that way being able to relate better to other people, for one thing and maybe understanding what life really is about as mentioning something else.
I may be wrong, but I recognize a drive I have had before to become very strong and confident after being in a codependent relationship. It was like I wanted to become strong enough so I never ever would be in that kind of situation again. Something like a kid that was being beaten up and started to work out and scare of everyone else so he wouldn't be beaten up again. And for me, sure that worked some, but what I really needed wasn't to be big and scary, but I needed help and support. Being big and scary can be a good thing to be sometimes, but for the most part it's just enough with being able to say no and leave the situation (if you are not a kid and live at home with an abusing parent, where you don't have much options, which really point out how severe that violation of boundaries is). So what I am really saying here, is that becoming a strong leader is a goal that shouldn't be went for for the wrong reasons. What I needed was to be healed from my own trauma, and become strong from that, becoming an Alpha Male, which is much about how you are perceived by others and behave towards others, is something to be built on top of that healing. If you are not emotionally healthy, or feeling secure in the present, you will always try to fill that void, confident or not, when it should, and can, be filled from within, and you can give your gift of yourself to the world from a place of content and fulfilment, and let all the improvements from AM7 be of your own joy and be a leader able to be intimate, human and emphatic, while being reliable and strong at the same time. Reading the description on the product page AM maybe can take care of all of that in the same time, but sometimes I get the feeling that users running AM want more of the confident, strong part to get outside results, and rush the process before getting the needed healing that everything need to be built upon in place.
I hope I didn't read in to much of your text into my own experience and made wrongful judgements about your current place or your intentions behind your goals. If not, I hope I could make my own experiences clearly communicated. All the best!
(01-21-2019, 08:52 AM)Asanti Wrote:(01-21-2019, 07:12 AM)Greenduck Wrote:(01-21-2019, 06:49 AM)Asanti Wrote: hey, what a cool avatar You have hereit's as though you were becoming as wise as Gandalf on your subliminal journey
Hi there Asanti! Hah yeah it was something like that I had in mind when I chose it! How is your journey going? Are you going to buy E3 when it comes out?
it just crossed my mind that Gandalf never used subs, ha which means that your lever of wisdom should be deeper hehe I'm fine, when E3 comes out I will probably try it, come on, E3? The one and only on the whole planet earth
Maybe Gandalf did when fighting the Balrog and therefore become Gandalf the white? Probably an effect of E3... Happy to hear that!
On another note:
I saw an interesting clip about trauma, workaholism, and just psychology in general which was great, it was like so much knowledge about human behavior I have gotten from E2 but put into words. I can really recommend it (the whole thing can be found on the homepage, youtube just have half of the lenght) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojq-U137...lYcH0WqBjE
And reflected some on what I want to achieve in terms of emotional health, and I want to find inner peace, and being fully OK with who I am and feeling I am good enough all the time. Right now I don't really feel that, so I guess I want more self esteem.
