I'm currently reading the Mode One book chapter describing Mode Two aka nice guy...
I do recognize myself quite a bit in it... I don't feel that I am doing it to be manipulative... ie: Having a clear intent on having sex with a woman that I find attractive and try to befriend her and plan to do things with her with the hope that this will lead to sex...
Or perhaps that I am back rationalizing it after the fact with some BS.... And this is EXACTLY what I am doing subconsciously.
When I see a woman that I find attractive, I am unattached to any outcome and I approach her with a qualification mindset... I'm not sure yet if this is a girl that I want to have sex with. Let's find out if she is a fun person... I like to start casual and see where this can go...
However, it turns out that very often, I do not "pull the trigger" (SM3 jargon) and nothing happens...
On one hand, I cannot say that I don't want anything from women or else I wouldn't go through the trouble to run DMSI and SM3... OTOH I just don't need anything from any specific woman... ie: I'm not needy or pursue any of them. In fact, I am very independent... in fact maybe too much...
One very interesting detail from the Mode Two chapter is the link between FEAR and this mode.
Correlation between a man's level of honesty and sincerity with women and his lack of fear of being criticized by women...
... Mode Two men are specifically afraid of being perceived as "shallow", "superficial", "kinky", "promiscuous" and/or too sexually "forward"
THIS totally describe my fear and this is fully congruent with I have been saying and repeating about myself in this journal, the DMSI one and everywhere else in this forum:
Strong social programming (taught mainly by my single feminist mother) practiced for several years over my adult life is stopping me to verbalize my sexual interest with a woman that I have just met... I am concerned about what is "appropriate" and what isn't.
I was even not aware that this behavior was fueled by a fear... I was not using the word fear but a wolf is a wolf... I just put a finger on a fear that is blocking me from changing my behavior with women.
I am tagging @Shannon as I think that this is a very common fear in the world that we live in. It could be useful with his FRM dev...
Did you read the Mode One book, Shannon?
I do recognize myself quite a bit in it... I don't feel that I am doing it to be manipulative... ie: Having a clear intent on having sex with a woman that I find attractive and try to befriend her and plan to do things with her with the hope that this will lead to sex...
Or perhaps that I am back rationalizing it after the fact with some BS.... And this is EXACTLY what I am doing subconsciously.
When I see a woman that I find attractive, I am unattached to any outcome and I approach her with a qualification mindset... I'm not sure yet if this is a girl that I want to have sex with. Let's find out if she is a fun person... I like to start casual and see where this can go...
However, it turns out that very often, I do not "pull the trigger" (SM3 jargon) and nothing happens...
On one hand, I cannot say that I don't want anything from women or else I wouldn't go through the trouble to run DMSI and SM3... OTOH I just don't need anything from any specific woman... ie: I'm not needy or pursue any of them. In fact, I am very independent... in fact maybe too much...
One very interesting detail from the Mode Two chapter is the link between FEAR and this mode.
Correlation between a man's level of honesty and sincerity with women and his lack of fear of being criticized by women...
... Mode Two men are specifically afraid of being perceived as "shallow", "superficial", "kinky", "promiscuous" and/or too sexually "forward"
THIS totally describe my fear and this is fully congruent with I have been saying and repeating about myself in this journal, the DMSI one and everywhere else in this forum:
Strong social programming (taught mainly by my single feminist mother) practiced for several years over my adult life is stopping me to verbalize my sexual interest with a woman that I have just met... I am concerned about what is "appropriate" and what isn't.
I was even not aware that this behavior was fueled by a fear... I was not using the word fear but a wolf is a wolf... I just put a finger on a fear that is blocking me from changing my behavior with women.
I am tagging @Shannon as I think that this is a very common fear in the world that we live in. It could be useful with his FRM dev...
Did you read the Mode One book, Shannon?
