01-01-2019, 03:07 PM
I am more and more emotional. Crying to Tv-series like i haven't done before, and it feels good. Like I need it. I need to get in contact with my emotions, there is the source of my healing. To help let it out. I am afraid of showing emotions in some way, and to get help by a catalyst like an emotional scene is really helpful.
I have realized that showing emotions haven't really been encourage in my home growing up, as my mom clearly have problems when other show emotions, due to that I believe is some disorder along the BPD-spectrum. But this have caused me to bottle up emotions and not letting them flow freely when needed, which have caused all kind of problems from back pain to depression. I'm starting to change this ingrown habit, slowly but steadily and I believe it will be fundamental in reaching emotional health.
I also realize that I am becoming more compassionate as I'm getting more in tune with my own emotions. Understanding yourself is as familiar, the basis for understanding others. And the more I discover about myself the more similarities I see with other people.
I really thing this bottling up thing have had big consequenses on how I look at myself and other people. I haven't really been comfortable with other people at any time in my life. I have had friends and so on, but I haven't really been able to relax in anyones company, not fully, and being myself. I have been more comfortble in groups than in one on one, because then I could somewhat hide in the group.
But I really think these things are going to pass as I get in contact with who I am and my emotions. I am looking forward to 2019 and the things I will discover and do!
I have realized that showing emotions haven't really been encourage in my home growing up, as my mom clearly have problems when other show emotions, due to that I believe is some disorder along the BPD-spectrum. But this have caused me to bottle up emotions and not letting them flow freely when needed, which have caused all kind of problems from back pain to depression. I'm starting to change this ingrown habit, slowly but steadily and I believe it will be fundamental in reaching emotional health.
I also realize that I am becoming more compassionate as I'm getting more in tune with my own emotions. Understanding yourself is as familiar, the basis for understanding others. And the more I discover about myself the more similarities I see with other people.
I really thing this bottling up thing have had big consequenses on how I look at myself and other people. I haven't really been comfortable with other people at any time in my life. I have had friends and so on, but I haven't really been able to relax in anyones company, not fully, and being myself. I have been more comfortble in groups than in one on one, because then I could somewhat hide in the group.
But I really think these things are going to pass as I get in contact with who I am and my emotions. I am looking forward to 2019 and the things I will discover and do!
