I was panicked about finances at the beginning of the week, but I think I’ve figured out that we can make it to April when we can do the second refinance and get rid of all of the debt that’s been making our lives such a challenge. It won’t be easy, but we just have to make three more mortgage payments while making minimum payments on everything else. That or, it came to my attention that my wife’s credit has come up significantly, so we may be able to do it earlier. I’d really like to get back on truly stable ground ASAP so I can focus on moving life forward, not just fixing problems.
This week was up and down. There have been some instances of positive thought spirals that lead to that excited optimistic state where I can see and feel myself accomplishing my goals. There have also been some negative spirals, but those now don’t go as far down as the positive ones go up. That’s a million percent improvement from when I started with this sub, and it seems to keep getting better bit by bit. The positive ones ARE a bit more mellow than they were on one and two, but the downs are a LOT less pronounced. Version three seems to be keeping me on a more even keel with a steady upward trend, at least internally. There was sort of a restart period when I switched from two, but that seems to be in theover or close to it.
I have not noticed any real external luck manifestations recently except that we did get more money for Christmas than usual. I haven’t been quite as driven on my tasks either, but that may just be that it’s the holidays and I’m giving myself a break and doing other things.
The bad news is that I put part of my Christmas money in our joint account, and my wife spent it up. She did realize that her spending without thinking is a problem afterwards, or at least she said she did. She seemed to feel really bad about it, but I hate to say it, I don’t know if that’s a show to keep me from calling her on similar things in the future. She spent up a five figure financial cushion in a couple of months, and got mad at me for “chastising” her. Mind you, all I did was mention that it happened, and there was a LOT less chastising than I get when I put a kitchen utensil away in the “wrong” drawer. Matter of fact she got on me for using subs. She asked what I was doing while I was working on the FLAC problem, and I explained it. She then was convinced that I had bought something else, and she accused me of being “addicted” and wasting money. This relationship has to change, but that’s something for after I get life more squared away.
This week was up and down. There have been some instances of positive thought spirals that lead to that excited optimistic state where I can see and feel myself accomplishing my goals. There have also been some negative spirals, but those now don’t go as far down as the positive ones go up. That’s a million percent improvement from when I started with this sub, and it seems to keep getting better bit by bit. The positive ones ARE a bit more mellow than they were on one and two, but the downs are a LOT less pronounced. Version three seems to be keeping me on a more even keel with a steady upward trend, at least internally. There was sort of a restart period when I switched from two, but that seems to be in theover or close to it.
I have not noticed any real external luck manifestations recently except that we did get more money for Christmas than usual. I haven’t been quite as driven on my tasks either, but that may just be that it’s the holidays and I’m giving myself a break and doing other things.
The bad news is that I put part of my Christmas money in our joint account, and my wife spent it up. She did realize that her spending without thinking is a problem afterwards, or at least she said she did. She seemed to feel really bad about it, but I hate to say it, I don’t know if that’s a show to keep me from calling her on similar things in the future. She spent up a five figure financial cushion in a couple of months, and got mad at me for “chastising” her. Mind you, all I did was mention that it happened, and there was a LOT less chastising than I get when I put a kitchen utensil away in the “wrong” drawer. Matter of fact she got on me for using subs. She asked what I was doing while I was working on the FLAC problem, and I explained it. She then was convinced that I had bought something else, and she accused me of being “addicted” and wasting money. This relationship has to change, but that’s something for after I get life more squared away.
