Shannon's Journal Discussion Volume 3

[Shannon]

Jake, I'm not convinced you will take this seriously. "Only 10 days" is "only 8 days" more than you were supposed to take off, IF it was timed correctly for an ASRB break. Otherwise it was 10 days more. So that, best case scenario, is only what, 400% or 500% more time off than you were supposed to get? Yet here you are talking as if it's no big deal. How do we classify this, Jake? Self deception, or self delusion?

When you want something, you do what it takes to get it. Do what it takes, and I'll believe you're serious. Until I believe you are serious again, you will have to figure it out without my help.

After 3years if you don't see this as me taking it serious then I don't see what will. First time I've broken asrb.

I'll plod along and hope for the best.

Jake, what I see is someone who is being self deceptive. You aren't doing this to make the changes, you're doing it to have an excuse not to. You could have had all these issues dealt with a long time ago if you had done one simple thing, but you refuse to do that one simple thing. You do everything in your power to dance around it, but you never do the one thing that would end your issues in one fell swoop: take full personal responsibility for your choices and actions.

I have been around the block many times with people on this in many directions, from procrastination to drug use to being deceptive to others and self deception and alcoholism and many others. I know what I am looking at, I know why it is what it is, and I know that at your core you refuse to take personal responsibility.

So you are looking to subs for help, but it has become a convenient excuse to stagnate and do nothing. Wait for the sub to do it, while defeating the sub and then you don't have to move while saying you are trying to. Which, really, is a lie to yourself and everyone else. And that means your real goal is stagnation and procrastination, and the lengths to which you are going to maintain the status quo is amazing. When you use the subs, it takes effort equal to what it would take to achieve the goals of the program to resist achieving them. That is intentional effort to achieve the real goal.

At this point, I think you have three options.

1. Go find something else that works better for you than subliminals.
2. Start taking personal responsibility and outgrowing the desire to stagnate and fail.
3. Use something with FRM in it.

I don't see you doing #2 anytime soon. You obviously don't want to do #1, because it might either work or cost you your excuse for stagnating and maintaining your real goal. So that leaves #3, and you're even finding excuses not to do that.

So it's the end of the road. There's nothing left to try.