11-13-2018, 12:25 AM
I’m actually feeling the sub this evening. I’m getting those light surges of dizziness while it runs, usually they coincide with the barely heard voices. I usually don’t get that anymore, but it’s nice occasionally because it lets me know it’s still busy forming those neural connections.
I gave myself a break today. Yesterday when I was working so hard, I realized that I’d been driving myself really hard for the past several weeks, and that the world wouldn’t end if I didn’t worry about the to do list or anything like that for one day. All I got done today was to cook everyone a nice dinner and get on my way to work. Tomorrow, I’m back on it.
After I got dressed for work, I got downstairs only to be berated by my wife for leaving one of the “good” steak knives in the sink. This confused me a bit because I hadn’t done that, but she went on and on until our roommate said that she had done it. Roomie was annoyed and told Wife that not everything was my fault.
I realized that for the past few weeks, she’s found something small like that to go off on me in a big way for at about the same time every night. And this is nothing new.
The wife has been very critical of me since long before we were married. It’s gotten better and worse through the years, but it’s been a fairly constant thing. Last year when she moved in, Roommate told me that it was at the level of psychological abuse. I did used to get angry and fight back, but it did no good, so I don’t anymore.
It got real bad last year when I was in OJT for the job I really wanted, and the time before that too. It seems to get worse when other things are starting to go well for me. I partially blame the additional stress for my failing at those jobs. She does seem to be having difficulty dealing with the new me that is emerging. I can take it, but at the moment it’s upsetting our roommate and our son. She got some meds because we were thinking it was the result of MS related depression, and that made it a bet better for a while, but now it’s coming back. Not sure where this is going to go, but I don’t deserve to be treated like this and kiddo doesn’t deserve to be exposed to it.
I gave myself a break today. Yesterday when I was working so hard, I realized that I’d been driving myself really hard for the past several weeks, and that the world wouldn’t end if I didn’t worry about the to do list or anything like that for one day. All I got done today was to cook everyone a nice dinner and get on my way to work. Tomorrow, I’m back on it.
After I got dressed for work, I got downstairs only to be berated by my wife for leaving one of the “good” steak knives in the sink. This confused me a bit because I hadn’t done that, but she went on and on until our roommate said that she had done it. Roomie was annoyed and told Wife that not everything was my fault.
I realized that for the past few weeks, she’s found something small like that to go off on me in a big way for at about the same time every night. And this is nothing new.
The wife has been very critical of me since long before we were married. It’s gotten better and worse through the years, but it’s been a fairly constant thing. Last year when she moved in, Roommate told me that it was at the level of psychological abuse. I did used to get angry and fight back, but it did no good, so I don’t anymore.
It got real bad last year when I was in OJT for the job I really wanted, and the time before that too. It seems to get worse when other things are starting to go well for me. I partially blame the additional stress for my failing at those jobs. She does seem to be having difficulty dealing with the new me that is emerging. I can take it, but at the moment it’s upsetting our roommate and our son. She got some meds because we were thinking it was the result of MS related depression, and that made it a bet better for a while, but now it’s coming back. Not sure where this is going to go, but I don’t deserve to be treated like this and kiddo doesn’t deserve to be exposed to it.
