Jake's UMOP - CLOSED!

[Jake2015]

Day 46 - Thurs 8 Nov - (Day 1 6th Cycle).
(5 loops).
Masked Trickling Stream

Due to my big test on Tuesday I was only getting 5-6hrs sleep a day and it showed under my eyes.

I however was not sleeping early still, the drive or need or energy to want to sleep early just wasnt there.

I missed todays loop however and then went to uni and realised I was NOW finally exhausted.

I came home, ate, and then slept for 4hours.

Woke at 11.30pm approx and its now 2.30am, and ive ate and just relaxed and felt very lazy, bored and unmotivated as per usual.

I havent fapped and I have had an urge since cramming for the test to find and just call an escort - I feel it could be more of a self sabotage than an urge towards fulfilling any arousal since im not watching porn and ive lost sex drive!!

Anyway lastnight I went to a strip club with my friend. he wanted to hang with me since im flying back to the uk for a short 12days break on saturday.

I got 1 dance, but the way the dancer was pushing me to spend more on getting her a drink as well as other stuff put me off. we left eventually to go to another strip club where the girls were more aggressive in trying to get you to spend money with and on them and I was totally bored.

I had no sex drive and nothing.

I dont know whats wrong with me.

I came home and slept for 5hrs or 6 and then woke and thus today was exhausted.

Anyway thats my journal so far.

I have a desire to call an escort tomorrow, 1 I have planned to call all week but will I, who knows since im just not driven to waste money or have any arousal.

I fly on saturday so tomorrow will be spent packing my bags and tidying my apartment, throwing perishables and garbage away etc.

I feel UMOP2 is or will be released tomorrow.

Therefore this may be my last entry into this journal and perhaps the last of the 5 loops - since I will find out the new listening protocol once UMOP2 is released.

I do feel its a shame that so far I have again failed to execute and just hope that FRM3 in UMOP2 will help me out further.

Thanks for reading this journal and perhaps my others and come join me on my journey in the next journal, which ill eventually link up here.

All information will then be posted on there and all data and experiences in the hope of helping myself and others but most of all Shannon at learning what can be done for those like me and you that are not just there yet.

Thanks