10-29-2018, 02:18 PM
Ha, my day went the complete opposite of what I wanted but I learned something. You can't control everything. I know that seems obvious, but I try to control circumstances a lot. It gets to the point where I sometimes blame myself for "manifesting" it. But what I learned today is the importance of calm in the eye of the storm so to speak. "This too shall pass". I've been bringing up the fears within me and facing them, not running. Reminding myself that it will pass, the fear is temporary, but sometimes we have to face it and go through it.
I'm letting all my emotions come to the surface. I've realized I've been suppressing them, trying to push them away, trying to achieve a "better" state of mind. But I wasn't actually addressing them. Being able to sit with these emotions without being sucked into them or acting on them. That's the eye of the storm I was talking about. It's like I'm in a hurricane of strong emotions, but I'm practicing being calm and centered and unfazed by them. Compare this to my previous attitude of trying to push them away and move past them without actually moving past them. Hard to describe, but there was a definite fear that if I let go into these emotions they would consume me. I have no doubt that this fear prevented me from touching the more deep core issues that have troubled me for a lot of my life.
I'm still learning a lot. It's making me realize the limits I set for myself are based on nothing but subjective views of reality itself. It's just a matter of changing them without the fear interfering.
I'm letting all my emotions come to the surface. I've realized I've been suppressing them, trying to push them away, trying to achieve a "better" state of mind. But I wasn't actually addressing them. Being able to sit with these emotions without being sucked into them or acting on them. That's the eye of the storm I was talking about. It's like I'm in a hurricane of strong emotions, but I'm practicing being calm and centered and unfazed by them. Compare this to my previous attitude of trying to push them away and move past them without actually moving past them. Hard to describe, but there was a definite fear that if I let go into these emotions they would consume me. I have no doubt that this fear prevented me from touching the more deep core issues that have troubled me for a lot of my life.
I'm still learning a lot. It's making me realize the limits I set for myself are based on nothing but subjective views of reality itself. It's just a matter of changing them without the fear interfering.
INFP
