Been dead tired every morning this week. It's been really tough getting up for work. Work in general has been stressful and I just feel this lack of focus. I think what's happening is I'm currently dealing with the old reality and the new. The old reality is security, safety, limitations and the new reality is exploration, following my heart, doing things different. It's like I'm getting bored, outgrowing this job I've put myself in. Not the fact that I want more responsibility and to challenge myself,more like getting tired of the whole paradigm of it.
I can feel myself really wanting to do things differently in my life, but at the same time I'm afraid. And I find myself wishing that someone else would step in and take control. I'm not taking the reigns so to speak and I should be.
I think in general E2 is just digging out all this surface level crap that I've held about life in general. It's getting to that core question of "what do you really want to do?" And it's pushing me to do that vs taking the safe routes. It's not really easy for me. It took me a good few years even to land a job and establish some sense of financially secure. Going back to square one is scary because I've been there before and I'm afraid all my old habits will come back and I'll screw up my life.
Also noticing I'm not going into my self defeating spirals when I start comparing myself to others. Those thoughts like "man they have more friends than me, are in relationships, have good jobs, more talented, doing what they actually want to do, are lucky, etc." Basically my mind is like "yeah well that's them, focus on yourself and do your best, forget about them".
I can feel myself really wanting to do things differently in my life, but at the same time I'm afraid. And I find myself wishing that someone else would step in and take control. I'm not taking the reigns so to speak and I should be.
I think in general E2 is just digging out all this surface level crap that I've held about life in general. It's getting to that core question of "what do you really want to do?" And it's pushing me to do that vs taking the safe routes. It's not really easy for me. It took me a good few years even to land a job and establish some sense of financially secure. Going back to square one is scary because I've been there before and I'm afraid all my old habits will come back and I'll screw up my life.
Also noticing I'm not going into my self defeating spirals when I start comparing myself to others. Those thoughts like "man they have more friends than me, are in relationships, have good jobs, more talented, doing what they actually want to do, are lucky, etc." Basically my mind is like "yeah well that's them, focus on yourself and do your best, forget about them".
INFP
