10-24-2018, 01:39 PM
Weird dreams. One dream I was doing a ton of cocaine behind my families back at a large event? And I felt guilty about it. I've never had a drug addiction, so maybe it's symbolism for some other addiction.
The other dream. Apparently dead bodies were being dumped into the ocean. Like a ton of people died and they needed to figure out a way to get rid of them. But then all the bodies decomposing in the ocean caused massive environmental issues. Weird.
Aside from that I hit a point today where I just decided I'm not gonna take crap from people anymore. But not in a confrontational way, just pretty much stop caring what they think. I don't care if they think I'm incompetent, dumb, too quiet, etc. I just don't care because the only important thing for me is to enjoy my own life. I wasn't put on Earth to bend myself to the whims of what everyone wants me to be. I noticed some anger popping up with this, but a good anger. It's an anger that says, "yeah I don't have to put up with anyone's crap".
Let me say something else. The word entitled gets thrown out a lot by people today. But if entitled means living my life fully, not settling, and not accepting any circumstances that decrease my quality of life then yeah consider me entitled. Consider me entitled because I want to do more with my life than save up for retirement and then die. I have no tolerance for people anymore that shame people as being "entitled" because they want to live a better life or explore different ways of living that don't involve slaving away at a job making someone else money. Worst line that I hate hearing, "that's the way the world works, get used to it". What I hear. "I'm too afraid to change my circumstances so I'm just going to drag you down into my misery as well".
In the grand scheme of things none of this really matters. So if I suck at a job, make a mistake, disappoint someone, make a fool of myself ,etc. it's laughable how serious some people take it. I won't be part of that anymore. I've lived a good portion of my life too seriously and it stressed me out. And why did I? I'm not a heart surgeon, nothing in my environment honestly deserved that amount of seriousness directed towards it. There's a time and a place to be serious, but all the time is definitely the wrong approach.
The other dream. Apparently dead bodies were being dumped into the ocean. Like a ton of people died and they needed to figure out a way to get rid of them. But then all the bodies decomposing in the ocean caused massive environmental issues. Weird.
Aside from that I hit a point today where I just decided I'm not gonna take crap from people anymore. But not in a confrontational way, just pretty much stop caring what they think. I don't care if they think I'm incompetent, dumb, too quiet, etc. I just don't care because the only important thing for me is to enjoy my own life. I wasn't put on Earth to bend myself to the whims of what everyone wants me to be. I noticed some anger popping up with this, but a good anger. It's an anger that says, "yeah I don't have to put up with anyone's crap".
Let me say something else. The word entitled gets thrown out a lot by people today. But if entitled means living my life fully, not settling, and not accepting any circumstances that decrease my quality of life then yeah consider me entitled. Consider me entitled because I want to do more with my life than save up for retirement and then die. I have no tolerance for people anymore that shame people as being "entitled" because they want to live a better life or explore different ways of living that don't involve slaving away at a job making someone else money. Worst line that I hate hearing, "that's the way the world works, get used to it". What I hear. "I'm too afraid to change my circumstances so I'm just going to drag you down into my misery as well".
In the grand scheme of things none of this really matters. So if I suck at a job, make a mistake, disappoint someone, make a fool of myself ,etc. it's laughable how serious some people take it. I won't be part of that anymore. I've lived a good portion of my life too seriously and it stressed me out. And why did I? I'm not a heart surgeon, nothing in my environment honestly deserved that amount of seriousness directed towards it. There's a time and a place to be serious, but all the time is definitely the wrong approach.
INFP
