10-20-2018, 11:16 AM
Woke up this morning feeling like I was processing some stuff. Felt good in the morning, but as the day went on I started slowing down. Finished up a track I had been working on, but really fought to get it done. Afterwords I felt tired/irritated, found myself sitting on my bed just reading up on random stuff. Part of me wanted to keep watching these music theory videos I've been meaning to watch to improve, but another part of me felt agitated and restless. The trouble for me is when I'm in this agitated/restless state I find my focus is terrible. So while I could force myself to sit down, I have this urge to get up and leave or to stop watching. Which results in me not paying attention and creates this illusion that I'm being more productive than I actually am.
I just turned on E2 a couple of minutes ago because it felt like the initial part of me that started out on a good foot gradually diminished. Really bad procrastination. I can overcome procrastination fairly easily if it's something like doing laundry, cleaning, going shopping for food, etc. But when it comes to higher thought tasks like reading, creating, or solving problems I feel like my mind can't focus properly. I think a lot of it is just fear. The tasks I can do easily are the ones I know I can do. The tasks I struggle with are the ones with uncertainty or past difficulties or are part of a greater learning curve.
I'm not angry at this though, as frustrated as I can get sometimes. Since thinking about Shannon's last post and what I've accomplished for myself I see that sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and ask yourself what can I do in this moment to continue to push me forward? No matter how small, anything that moves you forward is progress. My problem was always expecting massive leaps and discounting everything else as failure. When really I just never acknowledged my small achievements and successes that helped me build myself up.
For me in this moment just listening to E2 has taken some of that edge off and I'm able to focus again, so I'm going to be working on some stuff.
I just turned on E2 a couple of minutes ago because it felt like the initial part of me that started out on a good foot gradually diminished. Really bad procrastination. I can overcome procrastination fairly easily if it's something like doing laundry, cleaning, going shopping for food, etc. But when it comes to higher thought tasks like reading, creating, or solving problems I feel like my mind can't focus properly. I think a lot of it is just fear. The tasks I can do easily are the ones I know I can do. The tasks I struggle with are the ones with uncertainty or past difficulties or are part of a greater learning curve.
I'm not angry at this though, as frustrated as I can get sometimes. Since thinking about Shannon's last post and what I've accomplished for myself I see that sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and ask yourself what can I do in this moment to continue to push me forward? No matter how small, anything that moves you forward is progress. My problem was always expecting massive leaps and discounting everything else as failure. When really I just never acknowledged my small achievements and successes that helped me build myself up.
For me in this moment just listening to E2 has taken some of that edge off and I'm able to focus again, so I'm going to be working on some stuff.
INFP
