DMSI 3.2 it's official

[mat422]

Matt,

I've been on E2 over 2 months now, and I looked into your DMSI journal recently, mostly since you're an INFP like me, and I wished to know how similar mindsets might see things.

I'm glad I looked, as I saw you switch to E2 recently. Also, I can really relate to most of your writings. I've had this busy monkey on my back saying little, if anything, is good enough. Whether it's subliminals, job choices, anything........... I see weaknesses and "holes needing to be filled". It's flippin' frustrating running with a "not good enough" backdrop in my head.

I've even tapered my writing lately here, mostly since I've not had grandstand moments or rock bottom dips. I've had not a framework sharing my emotions since.........it's regular. Nothing more, nothing less.

The self-judging aspect is something which when I let it run uninhibited, I tear myself down. Like I'll make a mistake, and use a broad paintbrush on my life, seeing myself failing and inadequate in any imagined scenario.

I relate to your mental struggle. Thank you for being so honest in your explanations. I'm officially running E2 until Halloween, but the closer it gets, the more I'm feeling being dug up, saying I need and want it to dig deeper. Plus.......Shannon advised staying on E2 until I didn't "need" another sub. I shared about this in my thread--since my male relationship triggers have been steadily surfacing. I've not decided yet, but I'm heading towards a longer run.

Thanks man. I don't really take everything to heart when it comes to typing as INFP, but without a doubt I've seen similar struggles among this MBTI type. It seems like those that got their needs met in childhood use it as a strength, but those with more issues it kind of acts as a fuel for self harm and destruction. Stepping away from that destructive mentality is not easy when you've got long standing patterns of that. I think the biggest obstacle for INFPs is internally they know what they want out of their personal world, but a lot of people they come across want to steer them in their own directions or "advise" them on how to live life. If you don't have a strong frame, people get in your head and compromise your happiness. I think among all the MBTI types we're the one's least content with how the world operates day to day. The structure, the routine, the obsession with status that is super common. It's like poison to me at least. Part of my battle is carving out a life that works for me, not fitting myself into someone else's mold.

E2 was one of the first subs I ran that really pulled me out of those destructive states. It was the catalyst that finally got me to see I wasn't beyond fixing or hopeless. I think sticking with it long term will do you a lot of good, at least until E3 comes out. It may not be as flashy as some of these other subs, but it sets you down that path of really figuring out how to fix things at the core instead of bandaid solutions.