Matt,
I've been on E2 over 2 months now, and I looked into your DMSI journal recently, mostly since you're an INFP like me, and I wished to know how similar mindsets might see things.
I'm glad I looked, as I saw you switch to E2 recently. Also, I can really relate to most of your writings. I've had this busy monkey on my back saying little, if anything, is good enough. Whether it's subliminals, job choices, anything........... I see weaknesses and "holes needing to be filled". It's flippin' frustrating running with a "not good enough" backdrop in my head.
I've even tapered my writing lately here, mostly since I've not had grandstand moments or rock bottom dips. I've had not a framework sharing my emotions since.........it's regular. Nothing more, nothing less.
The self-judging aspect is something which when I let it run uninhibited, I tear myself down. Like I'll make a mistake, and use a broad paintbrush on my life, seeing myself failing and inadequate in any imagined scenario.
I relate to your mental struggle. Thank you for being so honest in your explanations. I'm officially running E2 until Halloween, but the closer it gets, the more I'm feeling being dug up, saying I need and want it to dig deeper. Plus.......Shannon advised staying on E2 until I didn't "need" another sub. I shared about this in my thread--since my male relationship triggers have been steadily surfacing. I've not decided yet, but I'm heading towards a longer run.
I've been on E2 over 2 months now, and I looked into your DMSI journal recently, mostly since you're an INFP like me, and I wished to know how similar mindsets might see things.
I'm glad I looked, as I saw you switch to E2 recently. Also, I can really relate to most of your writings. I've had this busy monkey on my back saying little, if anything, is good enough. Whether it's subliminals, job choices, anything........... I see weaknesses and "holes needing to be filled". It's flippin' frustrating running with a "not good enough" backdrop in my head.
I've even tapered my writing lately here, mostly since I've not had grandstand moments or rock bottom dips. I've had not a framework sharing my emotions since.........it's regular. Nothing more, nothing less.
The self-judging aspect is something which when I let it run uninhibited, I tear myself down. Like I'll make a mistake, and use a broad paintbrush on my life, seeing myself failing and inadequate in any imagined scenario.
I relate to your mental struggle. Thank you for being so honest in your explanations. I'm officially running E2 until Halloween, but the closer it gets, the more I'm feeling being dug up, saying I need and want it to dig deeper. Plus.......Shannon advised staying on E2 until I didn't "need" another sub. I shared about this in my thread--since my male relationship triggers have been steadily surfacing. I've not decided yet, but I'm heading towards a longer run.
I want to be FREE!
