10-13-2018, 06:55 AM
Media is toxic and how a lot of people get roped into it. I've always hated being around people that just talk about the shit things going on in this world. I'm not a big conspiracy theorist, but it makes you wonder what the end game is. How easily people are controlled and manipulated. The funny part is they will deny it. The best manipulation and control is when people think the ideas originated from their own head.
For me at least I live in such a small bubble right now. Go to work, come home, work on music, sleep, repeat. For a while I was really depressed about it, but then I realized my exploration is mostly internal vs external. I'm not saying getting out and experiencing the world isn't good, but it's gotta be for a good reason. Not just running from current problems or trying to mentally get away.
I still don't have a plan for my life. I feel like I should, but I also feel like every plan I've ever attempted to make just feels wrong on some level and constricting. I get this feelings sometimes that the plans I do create are just through that limited filter I've created. So on one hand I feel like I'm maybe not being proactive enough and on the other hand it feels like making decisions and wanting to plan solely based out of fear and insecurities is a bad path to go down as well.
People always say to make a decision and stick to it. But honestly how valid is that? Given that we're constantly changing. How can you even know what you're going to want in 5 or 10 years? Add on to that the fact that maybe these decisions aren't being made from a good place or an open mind.
I look around sometimes and I ask if people are really happy. Or if they've been in a comfortable routine so long they've decided it's good enough. Or if I'm just projecting my own feelings onto other people. I don't really know. All I know is that for myself it's important to live my life as authentically as possible. Still trying to figure that one out as it feels up until this point I've just been making decisions based on fear and listening to authority figures who have a "been there done that" mentality.
For me at least I live in such a small bubble right now. Go to work, come home, work on music, sleep, repeat. For a while I was really depressed about it, but then I realized my exploration is mostly internal vs external. I'm not saying getting out and experiencing the world isn't good, but it's gotta be for a good reason. Not just running from current problems or trying to mentally get away.
I still don't have a plan for my life. I feel like I should, but I also feel like every plan I've ever attempted to make just feels wrong on some level and constricting. I get this feelings sometimes that the plans I do create are just through that limited filter I've created. So on one hand I feel like I'm maybe not being proactive enough and on the other hand it feels like making decisions and wanting to plan solely based out of fear and insecurities is a bad path to go down as well.
People always say to make a decision and stick to it. But honestly how valid is that? Given that we're constantly changing. How can you even know what you're going to want in 5 or 10 years? Add on to that the fact that maybe these decisions aren't being made from a good place or an open mind.
I look around sometimes and I ask if people are really happy. Or if they've been in a comfortable routine so long they've decided it's good enough. Or if I'm just projecting my own feelings onto other people. I don't really know. All I know is that for myself it's important to live my life as authentically as possible. Still trying to figure that one out as it feels up until this point I've just been making decisions based on fear and listening to authority figures who have a "been there done that" mentality.
INFP
