10-07-2018, 05:22 AM
You seem to be describing your subconscious communicating to your conscious WHY you procrastinate where and when you do, at least concerning studying. This would be a response to giving it the right amount of loops to start making progress, 5 a day being the minimum.
Personality types with a very strong will frequently have such a strong will because they have one or more very polar components to them. Polar components tend to think in absolutes: "If it's not X, it's -(X)."
We of course know that rainbows are not composed of black and white, or even red and green, or even just two colors at all. There are very few real binary absolutes in the world.
When you studied and did not achieve what you expected to achieve in an earlier grade, your polar thinking went from, "I'm smart and I can do anything" to "I simply cannot remember anything, no matter what I do." and as you say, this was based in a fear, which was a fear most likely of something else: not being good enough.
It sounds like you have been running on a belief that goes like this: "I want to be smart, and have others acknowledge that. If I am so smart, I should be able to study and achieve top marks. Since I studied and did not achieve top marks, I must be incapable of really remembering things when I study. Maybe I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Maybe I'm not good enough. If I refuse to study, I can always have an excuse for why I didn't do well if I do poorly, which will preserve my reputation for being smart, and make me feel better about myself."
Now that you know what the underlying reasons for the procrastination are, you can work them out and release them, replace them with beliefs that result in overcoming procrastination and achieving success, instead.
Personality types with a very strong will frequently have such a strong will because they have one or more very polar components to them. Polar components tend to think in absolutes: "If it's not X, it's -(X)."
We of course know that rainbows are not composed of black and white, or even red and green, or even just two colors at all. There are very few real binary absolutes in the world.
When you studied and did not achieve what you expected to achieve in an earlier grade, your polar thinking went from, "I'm smart and I can do anything" to "I simply cannot remember anything, no matter what I do." and as you say, this was based in a fear, which was a fear most likely of something else: not being good enough.
It sounds like you have been running on a belief that goes like this: "I want to be smart, and have others acknowledge that. If I am so smart, I should be able to study and achieve top marks. Since I studied and did not achieve top marks, I must be incapable of really remembering things when I study. Maybe I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Maybe I'm not good enough. If I refuse to study, I can always have an excuse for why I didn't do well if I do poorly, which will preserve my reputation for being smart, and make me feel better about myself."
Now that you know what the underlying reasons for the procrastination are, you can work them out and release them, replace them with beliefs that result in overcoming procrastination and achieving success, instead.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
