DMSI 3.2 it's official

[mat422]

Nice, love it. I felt like I was in a ship flying over a dark landscape in the Blade Runner universe.

I have the same fear of flying. Can't stand fearing that I have absolutely no control over my destiny for that time. I miss being a kid and feeling nothing but wonder and awe getting on an airplane and taking off, needing to sit in the window seat. One 5,000 foot drop on a turboprop as a teenager took that away from me.

Testing yourself in such an environment sounds like a great way to set yourself up for failure.

Thanks for taking a listen . I know a few months ago I saw the new bladerunner so it's probably still sitting in the back of my head haha. Funny how the influences have a delay like that with music.

That sucks though, also sounds really terrifying experiencing a 5,000 foot drop.

I feel like for most of my life I've been unnecessarily hard on myself. Probably retriggering traumas in an attempt to "get over them". I hesitate to call it trauma, but that's really what it is. Instead of one terrifying experience I guess I was just constantly exposed to one stressful event after another when I was a kid and just didn't recover all too well from it. But yeah I often push myself beyond my means in an unhealthy way because I've spent a lot of my life struggling with things the average person doesn't deal with. I think part of that behavior is a lack of self love for myself so for a while I just saw myself as broken and defective until I "fixed" it.