My healing journey - E2, Cold showers, Root chakra meditation

[Greenduck]

I'm finally starting to be able to stand up for myself. Last night my mom behaved weirdly again, questioning stuff and just being weird, when we sat down eating she started asking my why I was so tired, in a voice that said "what the hell is wrong with you?". Previously I would just succumb under this because I simply didn't had the self-protecting mechanisms there, because of fear I guess. But now, I just stoped her with a straight face and asked why I can't be tired? What does that have to do with her? She said that it make her feel bad, and I asked how I am responsible for this? I really saw that I hit something there, that I in some way made her understand that I am not playing that game anymore, where she can criticize me for how I make her feel, and that felt so damn good to finally be able to do that. Me, and somewhat my dad, is living under the umbrella of her emotions, and I am done with that shit. I am not going to play part of her victimhood and inability to regulate her own emotions. My dad btw. left the table when the argument started and so did I so she was left in blame for her behavior. It's amazing that you need to treat a grown woman like a child. I was furious afterwards, shaking in my body, but it felt good, like I did something right.