Some very interesting things happened the last few days which made me to think the above posts even more
Saturday was amazing. I didnt profit but i played really high and i had a loss of 2.4k which is nothing compared to the stakes i played consisting of 2100$ 1050$ tournaments. I ran bellow expectation but i found it easier to concentrate as good as i can. I got frustrated in the last two hours but i was grinding for 13 hours and i was very tired. Motivation was very high and i did enjoy the grind even though i had a slight headache from listenining the sub. I got many lessons from this day but i prefer to keep them private
Sunday is when things got really interesting. I feel l kept sabotaging myself and i think i might indeed have some fear or issues that i dont really know. I still dont know them. I mean i cant explain even in my native language if i have fears which i thought i havent but i am much more skeptical the last three days
1) I woke up after sleeping 5 hours but i was very tired. Sabotage no1 I didnt hit the gym making the excuse i am tired
2) Its the final day of the big series in pokerstars. I should have been really focussed and even though i could get another bad day, i should have maintained my composure because i know what i should do in almost every spot. Two hours into working, i realized i forgot to start the sub. Sabotage no2
3) The first three hours were a hell which happened before but this is the second time in my life i handled it poorly. I got a panic attack (i think) i couldnt breathe and i wanted to vomit (sub was playing fwiw). This happened again two years ago not sure if it is panic attack or not. I stopped the sub at that moment. Sabotage no3
4) We have one break of 5 minutes every hour and i did something i never done before. I left my house to buy some ice cream. Not only one but i bought 10 bars of sneakers ice cream and i ate them all. Sabotage4
While writing this i realized its better to take 1-2 days break from work to clear my mind. I dont know if it is sabotaging. I dont remember myself reacting so childish to be honest, especially leaving my house to buy some ice cream which NEVER happened before. I dont know if i have some kind of fear that the sub is helping me to understand better but i dont feel like i am afraid of something. What i am saying is that i dont feel fear but it seems i have from the facts i posted
I dont know if it matters but i still get the same high feeling i was getting in USLM but it is more intense
Saturday was amazing. I didnt profit but i played really high and i had a loss of 2.4k which is nothing compared to the stakes i played consisting of 2100$ 1050$ tournaments. I ran bellow expectation but i found it easier to concentrate as good as i can. I got frustrated in the last two hours but i was grinding for 13 hours and i was very tired. Motivation was very high and i did enjoy the grind even though i had a slight headache from listenining the sub. I got many lessons from this day but i prefer to keep them private
Sunday is when things got really interesting. I feel l kept sabotaging myself and i think i might indeed have some fear or issues that i dont really know. I still dont know them. I mean i cant explain even in my native language if i have fears which i thought i havent but i am much more skeptical the last three days
1) I woke up after sleeping 5 hours but i was very tired. Sabotage no1 I didnt hit the gym making the excuse i am tired
2) Its the final day of the big series in pokerstars. I should have been really focussed and even though i could get another bad day, i should have maintained my composure because i know what i should do in almost every spot. Two hours into working, i realized i forgot to start the sub. Sabotage no2
3) The first three hours were a hell which happened before but this is the second time in my life i handled it poorly. I got a panic attack (i think) i couldnt breathe and i wanted to vomit (sub was playing fwiw). This happened again two years ago not sure if it is panic attack or not. I stopped the sub at that moment. Sabotage no3
4) We have one break of 5 minutes every hour and i did something i never done before. I left my house to buy some ice cream. Not only one but i bought 10 bars of sneakers ice cream and i ate them all. Sabotage4
While writing this i realized its better to take 1-2 days break from work to clear my mind. I dont know if it is sabotaging. I dont remember myself reacting so childish to be honest, especially leaving my house to buy some ice cream which NEVER happened before. I dont know if i have some kind of fear that the sub is helping me to understand better but i dont feel like i am afraid of something. What i am saying is that i dont feel fear but it seems i have from the facts i posted
I dont know if it matters but i still get the same high feeling i was getting in USLM but it is more intense
Einstein himself once said, “It is not that I am so smart, it’s that I stick with problems longer.”
Everyone wants to be a diamond but no one wants to get cut
Everyone wants to be a diamond but no one wants to get cut
