09-11-2018, 02:12 PM
Had some stuff pop up this morning. I realized whenever I see anyone better looking, smarter, more talented, more accomplished it would make me feel like crap. More than that I'd negate my own achievements. So it would go something like this. "Oh you got a job?, well someone else is already doing that and they're better at it than you and they get paid more so this isn't much of an accomplishment". But basically take that general structure and apply it to all the things I've ever achieved in my life. The result is that I never allow myself to feel good for what I've accomplished in my life and I'm always beating myself up with not being on the same level as others.
My strategy for dealing with this was always to get better. To get to the point where I could say I've done just as much or more as everyone else so I'm on their level. The problem with this it that I ended up in a horrible cycle of getting anxious about how far I had to go, procrastinating, then not feeling good about myself because I still felt behind.
People always say don't compare yourself with others, and it's true. But it's one thing to understand that and a completely separate thing to actually apply that advice. I'll be honest, I struggle with it a lot. I still have trouble feeling good enough compared to everyone else around me.
But healing is about getting better. Not focusing on how messed up I feel or how troubled I am compared to others. So if I don't feel good enough compared to everyone else, then the solution is to start building that up inside of myself by challenging what I tell myself. I think I really screwed up a lot in the past thinking I could just decide to change these lifelong habits and got discouraged on days where I found myself in the same routines.
The question is what would it take for me to feel like I'm good enough? And I think the answer is just more self love and compassion for myself. Because right now I feel like I'm just chipping away at my soul because I've accepted I don't deserve anything better.
My strategy for dealing with this was always to get better. To get to the point where I could say I've done just as much or more as everyone else so I'm on their level. The problem with this it that I ended up in a horrible cycle of getting anxious about how far I had to go, procrastinating, then not feeling good about myself because I still felt behind.
People always say don't compare yourself with others, and it's true. But it's one thing to understand that and a completely separate thing to actually apply that advice. I'll be honest, I struggle with it a lot. I still have trouble feeling good enough compared to everyone else around me.
But healing is about getting better. Not focusing on how messed up I feel or how troubled I am compared to others. So if I don't feel good enough compared to everyone else, then the solution is to start building that up inside of myself by challenging what I tell myself. I think I really screwed up a lot in the past thinking I could just decide to change these lifelong habits and got discouraged on days where I found myself in the same routines.
The question is what would it take for me to feel like I'm good enough? And I think the answer is just more self love and compassion for myself. Because right now I feel like I'm just chipping away at my soul because I've accepted I don't deserve anything better.
INFP
