09-09-2018, 04:41 AM
Been too hard on myself lately again. I guess when the fear is triggered in me I get angry at myself and don't show myself any understanding which keeps me stuck in it. Last night I was listening to dmsi and instead of pushing past fear and assuming it needed to be painful and scary, I just focused on my breathing and relaxation. I noticed the more I could maintain a state of calm, the more I felt the effects of dmsi. I feel like I'm getting there. It's been a learning process how to be kinder to myself and work with the parts of me that are still terrified. A lot of it is acceptance and not feeling ashamed at still having those challenges to overcome. It's like I reached adulthood, but wasn't prepared for it. So part of me was always judgemental like "Everyone else can do this, why can't you? What the hell is wrong with you?" I realized that that thought pattern is due to growing up in a country that breeds that neuroticism in people. It's not a part of me that hates myself, it's a part that got wrapped up in the toxicity of modern society.
INFP
