08-22-2018, 03:04 PM
Well I think I fucked up. I told myself I wouldn't get sucked into the healing trap but that's what I did. I'm doing what's comfortable, what I know, what feels right. I was typing out a whole post about all the inner turmoil I faced on B and why A is so important. But I literally stopped mid way and thought to myself "I'm trying to justify why I ran from B in a way that makes me feel good and gives me validation from others on this forum"
Most of my progress that came from this sub is when I followed stuff that didn't feel right. When it feels right or I feel good about it 9/10 that's my subconscious feeling comfortable which means not doing enough to push past my fears.
I thought I would have the awareness to push my subconscious away from the healing loophole, but I've realized once again the option just cannot be there. Even now as I type this I anticipate someone telling me that this is resistance from going deeper into the healing with A. That I should stay on A.
Well I spent a majority of my time on A and I know where that road leads. Back to B for me.
Most of my progress that came from this sub is when I followed stuff that didn't feel right. When it feels right or I feel good about it 9/10 that's my subconscious feeling comfortable which means not doing enough to push past my fears.
I thought I would have the awareness to push my subconscious away from the healing loophole, but I've realized once again the option just cannot be there. Even now as I type this I anticipate someone telling me that this is resistance from going deeper into the healing with A. That I should stay on A.
Well I spent a majority of my time on A and I know where that road leads. Back to B for me.
INFP
