08-17-2018, 03:25 AM
Left speaker cut out last night. Was working when I went to sleep. I was wondering if maybe I subconsciously smacked it in the middle of the night. But I went to go test it this morning and it was fine.
So that just made me feel more defeated than usual. Like I should just quit dmsi and do something else because clearly I'm not executing the script.
I'm also getting a little irritated that guys are expected to lead all the time in society. Which makes me wonder if women would have an easier time with DMSI because they have the receiving mentality. Vs some guys who are stuck in the mindset of needing to do everything. That's probably where I'm still at. Of the few girls I've talked to I have to push the interactions, otherwise they never talk to me. I just don't think the type of reality dmsi is trying to cultivate is strong enough in my mind. Just feeling like going full hermit mode right now and to stop trying because it's just stressing me out. Also since starting dmsi I've noticed my need to be attractive to women has grown, likely some insecurity, but it's just annoying because it just feels like me trying to be attractive vs actually being attractive.
So that just made me feel more defeated than usual. Like I should just quit dmsi and do something else because clearly I'm not executing the script.
I'm also getting a little irritated that guys are expected to lead all the time in society. Which makes me wonder if women would have an easier time with DMSI because they have the receiving mentality. Vs some guys who are stuck in the mindset of needing to do everything. That's probably where I'm still at. Of the few girls I've talked to I have to push the interactions, otherwise they never talk to me. I just don't think the type of reality dmsi is trying to cultivate is strong enough in my mind. Just feeling like going full hermit mode right now and to stop trying because it's just stressing me out. Also since starting dmsi I've noticed my need to be attractive to women has grown, likely some insecurity, but it's just annoying because it just feels like me trying to be attractive vs actually being attractive.
INFP
