Shannon's Journal Discussion Volume 3

[DarthXedonias]

I don't know what everyone else's experiences are but I think that if you change your environment then the subliminals have a higher chance of fully executing.

For example if you live with or close to parents who think that sex before marriage is inappropriate and they have been brain washing you all your life with this nonsense. Then the subs will have a more difficult time to execute. If you move well away from them then DMSI/AMS/SM will have a better chance of executing.

Well said Thor, that's why I have recently thinking about the OE and if a person truly execute that part of the script then, environmental change will be one of the things to be changed

I pretty much have to agree with Thor here. I noticed when I was stationed in Hawaii, when I was living by myself, I was a lot better in some ways because I didn't have the constant negative influence of relatives around. When I was on my close to month long trip to the Philippines I feel like I was a defferent person totally to a degree. Once again cause I didn't have the constant negative influence of family and I actually felt like I could be myself for once. I do remember Shannon saying to me a long time ago after I told him a bit about what was going on with my mother, its somewhere in my Journal I believe, that it would be best to move out as soon as possible.

The reason he said that was because at that point your in an environment that is reinforcing the "old beliefs" while the sub is trying to have you accept new beliefs. In that scenario the sub is going to have to fight uphill order to get more changes done. If your in the same environment, those external influences are going to keep causing the old beliefs to "regrow" after you just cut them down as it were. You need to get yourself out of an environment that is going to keep on making that happen. Also, quite frankly if it is relatives that are causing this they are going to try their best to keep you the way you've always been. I've noticed this recently with my mother where it seems she has noticed some of the changes and its trying all the manipulation tactics she can to keep me under her thumb.

I probably discovered an important reason why I am so much concerned about the anti-fap-module. I wasn't aware until now, but two days ago I realized that due some bad experiences in regard to sex in addition with my fears (especially of intimacy and doing something wrong) my present sexual experiences usually gave me LESS pleasure than masturbation. That's probably also the reason why I am not very motivated to execute the whole script, just the attraction part, because from that point of view I am already giving myself a far better experience and pleasure than any woman could give me. And until the anti-fap-module came in play in 3.2 it was not a problem, but now, it is like I have to exchange something really good with something that is just ok. So no wonder that I went so crazy about this module. I...just don't know what to do with this knowledge, because I still want sex with women on a conscious level - probably because it is somehow hardwired - but I would need some really good sex experiences to be more motivated to execute the whole script which probably would only happen if I already would execute the script...so some kind of hen and egg problem...

I can pretty much identify with this. I know part of my problem is probably a combination of this and this fear of letting my guard down around women. Even with the girl I'm still talking to, while I was over there I would constantly have problems with "finishing" as it were because (1) simple intercourse wasn't "pleasurable" enough. It was like I wasn't sensitive to that type of feeling to actually ejaculate from that. Which makes no sense because the one time I did (which a hand job was required) I noticed I was super sensitive afterwards. (2) Every time I would even get close it was like some old program in my mind would come up from somewhere in my subconscious and would deliberately "kill" the feeling completely. It really got ridiculous at times and I would usually just give up. But if I watched porn or something, nope no problem at all ejaculating. It even ran across my mind at the time that I find porn more pleasurable than regular sex. I think it might be from years of releasing that way for years and that some part of me is deathly afraid of allowing myself to feel that way with a real woman.