@Shannon
What you're saying is to reframe our beliefs based on how we want them to be versus how people respond to us.
So basically one shouldn't think "No women accepted me thus far => it means I suck. Yeah, it must be my [insert insecurities here]".
Or "It's hard to get women to bed => yeah it must be my height or the size of my banana, yup it all makes sense".
I get it and I agree with you and that's something I'm always trying to do, in other areas of life too. However, I found that extremely hard, close to impossible even. All of our senses are shaped to perceive the external world. How can one still keep positive beliefs when day by day what he's seeing and feeling is so far away from what he's trying to believe?
That seems close to impossible to me, human being what he is. The only solution I found is denial and avoidance. Avoiding seeing what I do not want to see, avoiding any situation that could trigger me, and so on.
But that seems really unhealthy to me. And it is just a temporary solution.
Honestly, I do not think it's possible to reframe a belief without any tangible experience. For example for late virgins to think that "Everything is OK with me, I am not the problem and I do not have any insecurities, I am the shit" is just fooling oneself because there is no tangible experience the mind can refer to. You see? It's like, in life, any FIRST experience rules all of the following ones, lol.
I think that's why H/C is so hard and seems so endless. I doubt the human can be self-sufficient. We are wired not to. That seems to be engraved deep down in our genomes.
I'm still trying though, but it seems like an impossible battle. And a battle of one's lifetime.
Quote:It's because I don't artificially limit myself with negative, failure based, failure breeding beliefs.For someone being defeatist in the women department, I understand what you mean but still find it very hard, or even impossible to validate myself, regardless of my past experience and how others behave with me.
What you're saying is to reframe our beliefs based on how we want them to be versus how people respond to us.
So basically one shouldn't think "No women accepted me thus far => it means I suck. Yeah, it must be my [insert insecurities here]".
Or "It's hard to get women to bed => yeah it must be my height or the size of my banana, yup it all makes sense".
I get it and I agree with you and that's something I'm always trying to do, in other areas of life too. However, I found that extremely hard, close to impossible even. All of our senses are shaped to perceive the external world. How can one still keep positive beliefs when day by day what he's seeing and feeling is so far away from what he's trying to believe?
That seems close to impossible to me, human being what he is. The only solution I found is denial and avoidance. Avoiding seeing what I do not want to see, avoiding any situation that could trigger me, and so on.
But that seems really unhealthy to me. And it is just a temporary solution.
Honestly, I do not think it's possible to reframe a belief without any tangible experience. For example for late virgins to think that "Everything is OK with me, I am not the problem and I do not have any insecurities, I am the shit" is just fooling oneself because there is no tangible experience the mind can refer to. You see? It's like, in life, any FIRST experience rules all of the following ones, lol.
I think that's why H/C is so hard and seems so endless. I doubt the human can be self-sufficient. We are wired not to. That seems to be engraved deep down in our genomes.
I'm still trying though, but it seems like an impossible battle. And a battle of one's lifetime.
