I notice that women stand body to body with me. Like just now, this girl couldnt stop giggling and had this trashy yet sexual vibe with her. It was like a bf gf dynamic and my comfort was high. Im releasing more fear right now. Its like a part of me is losing its grip after all this time. I could feel her heat coming from her, with her grey eyes. Ready to go/bang.
Im not even going to write anymore about what parts of me doing. I aint feeding it anymore.
"People are pro's in their anxiety, but totally lacking focus on confidence, they focus their light and scope in the wrong places"
Like other forum members, im done treating my life like a lab experiment. Its a slight shift in wavelength but its there.
Also, why is it, that I have difficulties to cut of friends for example? I mean, with internal change comes external change, and im definitely changing. Im not on the same frequency with them at akll, and they bore me. but still, there is this part of me, that clings to it, or, atleast, seems to cling to it. Then, there is the awareness of an huge lake of power by crossing it over, anhuge leap I would say, in communication jump. The attachment, the fear and all of that, brings tension in the body. Like, it decreaes my space. yet, I am aware, that, by growing to this, with this change happening, this awareness, it will expand my presence probably ten fold, if not 100 fold. instead of my energy becoming more compact, and, if you will, introverted/turned inwward, there is the awareness of taking the jump that wil expand me. so, the exansion/jump that is possible is Obvious to me, and yet, there is an certain fear underneath going on. im pretty much sure its fear. instead of stiffing up, rather, loosen up.
Im not even going to write anymore about what parts of me doing. I aint feeding it anymore.
"People are pro's in their anxiety, but totally lacking focus on confidence, they focus their light and scope in the wrong places"
Like other forum members, im done treating my life like a lab experiment. Its a slight shift in wavelength but its there.
Also, why is it, that I have difficulties to cut of friends for example? I mean, with internal change comes external change, and im definitely changing. Im not on the same frequency with them at akll, and they bore me. but still, there is this part of me, that clings to it, or, atleast, seems to cling to it. Then, there is the awareness of an huge lake of power by crossing it over, anhuge leap I would say, in communication jump. The attachment, the fear and all of that, brings tension in the body. Like, it decreaes my space. yet, I am aware, that, by growing to this, with this change happening, this awareness, it will expand my presence probably ten fold, if not 100 fold. instead of my energy becoming more compact, and, if you will, introverted/turned inwward, there is the awareness of taking the jump that wil expand me. so, the exansion/jump that is possible is Obvious to me, and yet, there is an certain fear underneath going on. im pretty much sure its fear. instead of stiffing up, rather, loosen up.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
