07-29-2018, 04:51 AM
(07-28-2018, 03:58 PM)mat422 Wrote: I'm not even going to speculate on the inner workings of dmsi anymore. Too much analyzing, too much wanting to know and it's all based in fear and needing to be in control at all times. Well the sub is running pretty much 24/7 so I should just stop worrying about it and go about my life. I feel like I'm suffocating in my own thoughts and I can't stand it anymore. All the endless goddamn thinking, I'm convinced it's just a fear based response to DMSI so I won't allow that anymore. It doesn't ever go anywhere, it's just like a hamster on a wheel with this deceptive idea that I'm digging towards a solution when it's really just my mind spewing nonsense. It's like sleight of hand for my mind, distracting me with all this useless info so I don't keep moving forward.
I have decided to do something similar. Letting me go of conscious observation is needed.. Life isn't a laboratory where u have to keep watching everything
