07-01-2018, 06:14 PM
Deleted tinder off my phone yet again. I'm not sure if that's me moving beyond the validation of wanting to match with hot women or me avoiding executing dmsi. All I know is I got like 4 matches tops. Tinder sucks because it's all first impression and I don't have any decent pics of myself. I'm also not about to stage a photo for the sake of more matches. On top of that I'm pretty sure that app was eating away at my self esteem and turning into a huge waste of time so I ditched it.
On the subliminal front, weird thing happened this morning. I woke up, but then decided to sleep in for the day instead of getting up immediately. So I kind of fell into this meditative state where my body was buzzing with energy and I was in a state of deep relaxation. And I saw in my minds eye women being attracted to me. No resistance or anything, just calm and certainty. So it made me wonder if my block here is more conscious than subconscious. If I was in that hypnagogic state, then it seems like my conscious mind would be less active. And if it felt like I was full on executing the aura, that means what's holding me back is my conscious level of needing to be in control more than deep subconscious fears.
All theory though. I don't really know anymore what's holding me back. The whole thing is very complicated. All I know is I'm going to keep upping the loops until I break through. That's about all I can do. I also realized I've been very anxious lately but on a very subtle level. When I hit that state of deep relaxation this morning I was thinking to myself that this is how I should feel all the time. Not this on edge tensed up feeling. I think that on edge feeling is me trying to exert control over the subconscious.
On the subliminal front, weird thing happened this morning. I woke up, but then decided to sleep in for the day instead of getting up immediately. So I kind of fell into this meditative state where my body was buzzing with energy and I was in a state of deep relaxation. And I saw in my minds eye women being attracted to me. No resistance or anything, just calm and certainty. So it made me wonder if my block here is more conscious than subconscious. If I was in that hypnagogic state, then it seems like my conscious mind would be less active. And if it felt like I was full on executing the aura, that means what's holding me back is my conscious level of needing to be in control more than deep subconscious fears.
All theory though. I don't really know anymore what's holding me back. The whole thing is very complicated. All I know is I'm going to keep upping the loops until I break through. That's about all I can do. I also realized I've been very anxious lately but on a very subtle level. When I hit that state of deep relaxation this morning I was thinking to myself that this is how I should feel all the time. Not this on edge tensed up feeling. I think that on edge feeling is me trying to exert control over the subconscious.
INFP
