06-22-2018, 10:28 AM
Quick update. I've been on 3.2A for almost 2 weeks, going to take that one day break soon. I thought about going back to DMSI B for 2 weeks then back to A. I thought that would be best but Shannon has told others in similar situations to just do version A for 3 or more loops so I'll probably do that.
In case it helps Shannon, one thing that may be a subconscious fear is what happened the first (aka last time) I had sex. Her ass smelled and that put me off, but I did it anyway because I wanted to do it. I wasn't even attracted to her really. I just wanted to finally have sex. It was after that that I raised my standards to only go for the girls I actually found attractive. But that experience might be affecting something. Just wanted to point it out.
No extreme depression. I do sometimes just think about girls and feel angry at them. The ones I've interacted with who behaved like they wanted me or wanted it to go somewhere but didn't. And also just girls in general. It's not an all day rage. Just something that comes up in thoughts.
The dreams have been all over the place. Had a dream last night that I heard knocking at the door. The dream seemed like it was real. I thought it was my roommate so I ignored it cause I was sleeping. Then I heard the door open and when I went to look, I was in sleep paralysis so I couldn't. Then I see a hand in front of my face like either a fist bump or like someone's trying to get my attention. I think I woke up here and I looked and my door was still locked and everything. I felt freaked out for a minute. I had another dream after that where me and some hot girl were llike in our own world or something and it was magical. The way I use to dream of it being when I was a kid. I don't remember any details except that she was telling me what I wanted to hear and the we were somewhere perfect.
In case it helps Shannon, one thing that may be a subconscious fear is what happened the first (aka last time) I had sex. Her ass smelled and that put me off, but I did it anyway because I wanted to do it. I wasn't even attracted to her really. I just wanted to finally have sex. It was after that that I raised my standards to only go for the girls I actually found attractive. But that experience might be affecting something. Just wanted to point it out.
No extreme depression. I do sometimes just think about girls and feel angry at them. The ones I've interacted with who behaved like they wanted me or wanted it to go somewhere but didn't. And also just girls in general. It's not an all day rage. Just something that comes up in thoughts.
The dreams have been all over the place. Had a dream last night that I heard knocking at the door. The dream seemed like it was real. I thought it was my roommate so I ignored it cause I was sleeping. Then I heard the door open and when I went to look, I was in sleep paralysis so I couldn't. Then I see a hand in front of my face like either a fist bump or like someone's trying to get my attention. I think I woke up here and I looked and my door was still locked and everything. I felt freaked out for a minute. I had another dream after that where me and some hot girl were llike in our own world or something and it was magical. The way I use to dream of it being when I was a kid. I don't remember any details except that she was telling me what I wanted to hear and the we were somewhere perfect.
