June 18th - The worst part of my business fiasco seems to be over now. Things are hopefully balancing out from that nightmare I was thrust into that lasted awhile.
That means I can now freely begin increasing loops without such worry of fatigue. I was very concerned of such happening again like it derailed me outrageously on V3.0.1, and on V3.1 at times, hell even on V3.2 at times at one loop! Now, I have the "bandwidth" to experiment with increasing loops. Yesterday, I started at 2 loops, over a small period of time I will gradually work up to 7 loops per day now.
I may compile a short update on things since the last post I made. But there isn't too much to talk about still. Just need to reread my offline journal since then and report anything that could be interesting. Nothing external with girls I know that offhand as that would naturally stand out, and girls continue to either not take me seriously as a potential partner and do not make any advances to me. Or, not reply to messages from me. Or lack sexual or romantic interest in me to begin with still. I asked one out recently I know and find attractive, and got a possibly lame excuse but I didn't call it out as it doesn't matter, they either say yes, or anything else in the world, that MEANS no. I always ask myself "Would they try to sell that to Justin Bieber if he asked her out?" I find it's a good way to not delude myself or lie to myself to spare my ego and be more honest about situations.
I still don't see anything "happening" with girls tangibly. Still the nice/funny/charming guy, but no sexual attraction or intent obviously. Some dreams or whatever I've had, but I don't put much stock in those as having periodically intriguing dreams isn't why I bought this. The apathetic feeling about girls seems to continue to be prevailing. Although as I've said before, I don't know if that's the program pushing this mindset, or just my continued lack of success and jadedness dulling my interest to keep trying as it feels futile. Even now, I still can't picture myself dating an attractive girl, still doesn't seem realistic to me. That may sound sad, but for whatever reason, it's the honest truth.
I may post more later after I dig through my offline journal.
Hope people are doing well in their journeys.
That means I can now freely begin increasing loops without such worry of fatigue. I was very concerned of such happening again like it derailed me outrageously on V3.0.1, and on V3.1 at times, hell even on V3.2 at times at one loop! Now, I have the "bandwidth" to experiment with increasing loops. Yesterday, I started at 2 loops, over a small period of time I will gradually work up to 7 loops per day now.
I may compile a short update on things since the last post I made. But there isn't too much to talk about still. Just need to reread my offline journal since then and report anything that could be interesting. Nothing external with girls I know that offhand as that would naturally stand out, and girls continue to either not take me seriously as a potential partner and do not make any advances to me. Or, not reply to messages from me. Or lack sexual or romantic interest in me to begin with still. I asked one out recently I know and find attractive, and got a possibly lame excuse but I didn't call it out as it doesn't matter, they either say yes, or anything else in the world, that MEANS no. I always ask myself "Would they try to sell that to Justin Bieber if he asked her out?" I find it's a good way to not delude myself or lie to myself to spare my ego and be more honest about situations.
I still don't see anything "happening" with girls tangibly. Still the nice/funny/charming guy, but no sexual attraction or intent obviously. Some dreams or whatever I've had, but I don't put much stock in those as having periodically intriguing dreams isn't why I bought this. The apathetic feeling about girls seems to continue to be prevailing. Although as I've said before, I don't know if that's the program pushing this mindset, or just my continued lack of success and jadedness dulling my interest to keep trying as it feels futile. Even now, I still can't picture myself dating an attractive girl, still doesn't seem realistic to me. That may sound sad, but for whatever reason, it's the honest truth.
I may post more later after I dig through my offline journal.
Hope people are doing well in their journeys.
