So last night I was getting to the root and still am getting to the root and asking why I am resisting still. Im executing for sure but still partly. It did send me into a massive panic like surge. Anxiety did rose, breathing became more shallow and fearfullness. Its like part of me rejects DMSI still, which, seems to be my inner child. By being completely calm and almost stoic communication takes place. Tonight I will again attempt to communicate.
In my communication with "N" Im having a desperation vibe coming up. Its like hellbent nihilism and desperation translating in an confusing form of neediness. Like proving myself, being loud, trying to overrule others in an sense of being heard.
Also, today ( day 4 ) I recognized the anxiety that is ever present in my body, and it became clear through being lifted out right in my awareness like a puzzlepiece to deal with it. This resulted in an more carefree experience in being now.
The getting to the root yesterday was pretty intense we're not done yet and Im pretty sure lots of DMSI stuff is happening to which im blind but instinctively know is happening. Im pretty sure im at something. Also it came through being inspired by KTrain on the forums.
Also, the urge to masturbate pops up randomly, yet im not giving in.
B is still great tho. Im debating of running an 5th loop.
In my communication with "N" Im having a desperation vibe coming up. Its like hellbent nihilism and desperation translating in an confusing form of neediness. Like proving myself, being loud, trying to overrule others in an sense of being heard.
Also, today ( day 4 ) I recognized the anxiety that is ever present in my body, and it became clear through being lifted out right in my awareness like a puzzlepiece to deal with it. This resulted in an more carefree experience in being now.
The getting to the root yesterday was pretty intense we're not done yet and Im pretty sure lots of DMSI stuff is happening to which im blind but instinctively know is happening. Im pretty sure im at something. Also it came through being inspired by KTrain on the forums.
Also, the urge to masturbate pops up randomly, yet im not giving in.
B is still great tho. Im debating of running an 5th loop.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
