I'm meeting a girl on and off, and yesterday we met, had some dinner, hanged out and watched some netflix. We have a history, and know each other. So I noticed that she was pretty tense and seemed irritated. Previously I wouldn't have the courage to ask why, because I know from previous experience that she can get pretty defensive about it, and I couldn't handle the blame being thrown on me.
But now, I could. I asked her, she shrugged it off explaining it had to do with something rather trivial that had happened during the day, but after about 10 minutes I notice her crying. And after talking for a bit, and helping her she could cry for some while and really breathe deeply and release that tension. I explained to her that this was good, as I think she have a habit of holding in her emotions, and not letting them come out. We talked a bit more, about how she get emotional with me (she thinks that it's just about our history and that she get emotional because of that, and sure she may have a point, but mainly I think that she can relax with me and just get emotional when I am around - I know that I have had this effect on other people).
Anyway, it was good for her and she seemed more peaceful afterwards. I told her about my experience with going to a therapist and recommmended a way that she can get to one pretty cheaply (around 10 euro per time, instead of the private clinics which charge around 80 euro per time...) and she said that it felt good to have a direction and know what to do next.
It felt good to be a support for her, and I didn't get defensive when she got at some points. I was just calm, steady, and I would almost say loving. I felt loving towards her, and told her that I hope she knows that I like her. I wouldn't be able to do that before. I think that she will manage to get herself to feel better, and I really hope she will because she is really a sweet girl there inside that can really bloom out if she would learn to work with her emotions instead of against them, learn to let them out, and be free. Maybe I will recommend her E2 at some point further down, but right now I think she need to find her own way without me trying to help her to much.
Reflection:
Without blowing my own horn to much, I notice I have a different understanding of emotional states than I did before. A deeper understanding, and the courage to face the challenges that arise when lifting on those rocks. Probably because I have lifted on my own rocks and had to face whatever was down there.
Edit:
I am drawn to reading a book about misogony and one about dream interpretation. Not my usual cup of tea for reading, interesting.
But now, I could. I asked her, she shrugged it off explaining it had to do with something rather trivial that had happened during the day, but after about 10 minutes I notice her crying. And after talking for a bit, and helping her she could cry for some while and really breathe deeply and release that tension. I explained to her that this was good, as I think she have a habit of holding in her emotions, and not letting them come out. We talked a bit more, about how she get emotional with me (she thinks that it's just about our history and that she get emotional because of that, and sure she may have a point, but mainly I think that she can relax with me and just get emotional when I am around - I know that I have had this effect on other people).
Anyway, it was good for her and she seemed more peaceful afterwards. I told her about my experience with going to a therapist and recommmended a way that she can get to one pretty cheaply (around 10 euro per time, instead of the private clinics which charge around 80 euro per time...) and she said that it felt good to have a direction and know what to do next.
It felt good to be a support for her, and I didn't get defensive when she got at some points. I was just calm, steady, and I would almost say loving. I felt loving towards her, and told her that I hope she knows that I like her. I wouldn't be able to do that before. I think that she will manage to get herself to feel better, and I really hope she will because she is really a sweet girl there inside that can really bloom out if she would learn to work with her emotions instead of against them, learn to let them out, and be free. Maybe I will recommend her E2 at some point further down, but right now I think she need to find her own way without me trying to help her to much.
Reflection:
Without blowing my own horn to much, I notice I have a different understanding of emotional states than I did before. A deeper understanding, and the courage to face the challenges that arise when lifting on those rocks. Probably because I have lifted on my own rocks and had to face whatever was down there.
Edit:
I am drawn to reading a book about misogony and one about dream interpretation. Not my usual cup of tea for reading, interesting.
