06-03-2018, 04:27 PM
Thanks for all the responses guys! 
I partly wish that I started with EPRHA first but I'm going to stick with PTPA for at least 33 days. But either one of them I want to do for the 6 months long-term programming. Alpha female has some effects I'd desire but not all. Though I'd try "Healthy Beta Female" subliminal if one exists. And thank you!
I see we've been communicating over email, thanks for the heads up. I don't listen to ultrasonic with earphones. And I will try to keep my listening time to 3 hours unless I miss a daytime opportunity and need to play it during sleep.
I liked reading the men's journals here too even though I can't relate to a desire to attract short-term lovers and whatnot. Personal transformation is always a fascinating topic to me so I guess we share that interest in common! It's very comforting to read that you noticed those major effects around the 10 day mark. Because I have to admit when I first purchased the audio and listened to it, I was wishing for an immediate result at the end of 3 loops. Literally that something magical would happen. But then I reminded myself that is completely unrealistic and a form of self-sabotage. And I agree E2 is really appealing. Yeah, I can't wait to see where I'll be in a month and even later down the line.
Day 5 - today I traveled by plane to visit family (my mother and her parents), which normally brings my mood down quite a lot because a. I dislike travel b. Visiting family feels like a chore at best, emotional torture at worst. I know this is a maturity thing but it also strongly has to do with the fact that my coping skills are nonexistent as I feel there is nothing to look forward to at the end of a trying time. Outwardly it looks like I'm coping because I'm silent about my discomfort but internally I'm a wreck (however it comes out in ways such as aggression and irritability, which are contrary to my real personality I believe). The only way I manage to feel any semblance of peace is to barricade myself in my room, and sit alone with my laptop - which is one of the reasons I've struggled with any steady employment or education. To get to a place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually where I can not only achieve those things, but thrive in them is absolutely one of my top goals.
One of the effects of my hormonal/genetic issues is idiopathic hirsutism (severe body/facial hair growth as pertains to females). It's beyond the level where it can be maintained with conventional methods and other treatments are prohibitively expensive/have been ineffective for me in the past. I have to meticulously plan my outfits to cover every inch of my body and also must restrict my movement (absurdly inconvenient). I feel like my body is cage. I feel disgusting and never feel clean unless I follow a certain shower routine. As a response throughout the years of dealing with this, I developed OCD which further compounds my feeling of despondency. OCD has controlled my life in many ways and wasted many years. It's the main reason I hate travel as I'm having to do all of this planning but not in my usual environment. I would love to experience travel from a place of joy and one of my goal is to travel extensively in the future because I truly love learning about different cultures and what better way than in person?
Even though I wasn't elated at the prospect of spending 2 weeks with the family, I managed to keep my spirits up en route for a while and stop focusing on the negative thoughts. But this was before arriving and spending time with my mom. Everything I hate about myself and my life is brought up endlessly therefore I have no chance to stay positive and focus on a better reality. However today while we were arguing, something interesting happened. She was saying her usual self-esteem destroying and sanity-reducing things, but I reacted in a way which made her back away sheepishly. I was very firm and told her off, but in the politest way I could. It felt very natural in the moment. I accused her of some things she couldn't respond to. She's rarely had that reaction before. If I ignore her, she escalates until I can't ignore her anymore. If I blow up and start yelling, it "proves" to her that anger is clouding my judgment. Either way she never backs off and I become exhausted and frustrated. So this was quite a strange occurrence. My theory...if the subliminal is making me inherently more positive, naturally according to LOA negative experiences start to dissolve.
Other than that: My mood fluctuates a lot in general and I frequently get the feeling of "this isn't gonna work" (even though I've already seen slight effects) and wanting to stop and try something else, but I know this means I have a great deal of resistance to push through. My mind is literally addicted to negativity. The same way a drug addict needs their fix to feel whole. If PTPA can just help me keep motivated to practice gratitude and see the positive side of things without even rewiring my brain - JUST giving me the motivation to work on myself - that would be a breakthrough. It's been less than a week of listening so far but reading from other members that it took them 10+ days or a longer time helps keep my expectations in check so I don't succumb to disappointment and quit the whole experiment early. Something I tried out briefly and will be continuing is visualizing my life the way I would love it to be and feeling gratitude in advance, while listening to the loops. The hybrid trickling stream is very soothing to me and I get sleepy so it seems like a good opportunity even though in the FAQ it says that isn't necessary. I tried to do the same thing a couple months ago (the visualizing thing), but without listening to any subliminal or audio, and my mood completely tanked after a couple days of optimism. I was literally unable to be anything but pessimistic and unhappy about everything. It was quite strange, as if I "ran out" of thanks to give. I'm hopeful the same experience won't be repeated this time around.
(06-02-2018, 06:48 PM)DavisMind91 Wrote: Welcome. Sounds like you could definitely use a positive thinking boost. Afterwards, I’d recommend you move on to EHPRA version 2, while saving up for the alpha female set. All up to you. Either way I wish you luck in your journey.
I partly wish that I started with EPRHA first but I'm going to stick with PTPA for at least 33 days. But either one of them I want to do for the 6 months long-term programming. Alpha female has some effects I'd desire but not all. Though I'd try "Healthy Beta Female" subliminal if one exists. And thank you!
(06-02-2018, 08:32 PM)Benjamin Wrote: I agree with the E2 idea http://www.subliminal-shop.com/product/e...g-aid-2-0/
But it'll be interesting to see how PTPA goes.
The only thing though is you want to stick to the amount of loops specified on the description page (1 loop is 1 playthrough). More isn't necessarily better, and can be too much. Shannon calculated the loops as they are for a reason.
That just applies to 5.5g (other than E2 which is the same instructions as 5g). 4g and 5g is 8+ hours.
Anyway, good luck.
I see we've been communicating over email, thanks for the heads up. I don't listen to ultrasonic with earphones. And I will try to keep my listening time to 3 hours unless I miss a daytime opportunity and need to play it during sleep.
(06-02-2018, 09:53 PM)Raz Wrote: Don't assume that, yogik. I personally like reading journals that come from an entirely different background than my own. And if there is one thing that is scarce and missing here, then it's female perspective and experience.
PTPA is a good one. But it also is kind of under-the-radar at first. For me it took seven to ten days before I could really tell that it is changing my world. And even then it was one step at a time, although the effects become more pronounced and intertwined the longer you go.
E2 is absolutely a good choice for later. With what you have described of your situation, I bet you'll like it too. If you come to the conclusion that subliminals are something that make a positive difference for you, then I can also recommend LTU for longer downd the road. It's 'only' 5G but I have found it to be very rewarding when it comes to elevating and improving your entire self.
But first, thoroughly enjoy the ride as PTPA unfolds.
I liked reading the men's journals here too even though I can't relate to a desire to attract short-term lovers and whatnot. Personal transformation is always a fascinating topic to me so I guess we share that interest in common! It's very comforting to read that you noticed those major effects around the 10 day mark. Because I have to admit when I first purchased the audio and listened to it, I was wishing for an immediate result at the end of 3 loops. Literally that something magical would happen. But then I reminded myself that is completely unrealistic and a form of self-sabotage. And I agree E2 is really appealing. Yeah, I can't wait to see where I'll be in a month and even later down the line.
Day 5 - today I traveled by plane to visit family (my mother and her parents), which normally brings my mood down quite a lot because a. I dislike travel b. Visiting family feels like a chore at best, emotional torture at worst. I know this is a maturity thing but it also strongly has to do with the fact that my coping skills are nonexistent as I feel there is nothing to look forward to at the end of a trying time. Outwardly it looks like I'm coping because I'm silent about my discomfort but internally I'm a wreck (however it comes out in ways such as aggression and irritability, which are contrary to my real personality I believe). The only way I manage to feel any semblance of peace is to barricade myself in my room, and sit alone with my laptop - which is one of the reasons I've struggled with any steady employment or education. To get to a place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually where I can not only achieve those things, but thrive in them is absolutely one of my top goals.
One of the effects of my hormonal/genetic issues is idiopathic hirsutism (severe body/facial hair growth as pertains to females). It's beyond the level where it can be maintained with conventional methods and other treatments are prohibitively expensive/have been ineffective for me in the past. I have to meticulously plan my outfits to cover every inch of my body and also must restrict my movement (absurdly inconvenient). I feel like my body is cage. I feel disgusting and never feel clean unless I follow a certain shower routine. As a response throughout the years of dealing with this, I developed OCD which further compounds my feeling of despondency. OCD has controlled my life in many ways and wasted many years. It's the main reason I hate travel as I'm having to do all of this planning but not in my usual environment. I would love to experience travel from a place of joy and one of my goal is to travel extensively in the future because I truly love learning about different cultures and what better way than in person?
Even though I wasn't elated at the prospect of spending 2 weeks with the family, I managed to keep my spirits up en route for a while and stop focusing on the negative thoughts. But this was before arriving and spending time with my mom. Everything I hate about myself and my life is brought up endlessly therefore I have no chance to stay positive and focus on a better reality. However today while we were arguing, something interesting happened. She was saying her usual self-esteem destroying and sanity-reducing things, but I reacted in a way which made her back away sheepishly. I was very firm and told her off, but in the politest way I could. It felt very natural in the moment. I accused her of some things she couldn't respond to. She's rarely had that reaction before. If I ignore her, she escalates until I can't ignore her anymore. If I blow up and start yelling, it "proves" to her that anger is clouding my judgment. Either way she never backs off and I become exhausted and frustrated. So this was quite a strange occurrence. My theory...if the subliminal is making me inherently more positive, naturally according to LOA negative experiences start to dissolve.
Other than that: My mood fluctuates a lot in general and I frequently get the feeling of "this isn't gonna work" (even though I've already seen slight effects) and wanting to stop and try something else, but I know this means I have a great deal of resistance to push through. My mind is literally addicted to negativity. The same way a drug addict needs their fix to feel whole. If PTPA can just help me keep motivated to practice gratitude and see the positive side of things without even rewiring my brain - JUST giving me the motivation to work on myself - that would be a breakthrough. It's been less than a week of listening so far but reading from other members that it took them 10+ days or a longer time helps keep my expectations in check so I don't succumb to disappointment and quit the whole experiment early. Something I tried out briefly and will be continuing is visualizing my life the way I would love it to be and feeling gratitude in advance, while listening to the loops. The hybrid trickling stream is very soothing to me and I get sleepy so it seems like a good opportunity even though in the FAQ it says that isn't necessary. I tried to do the same thing a couple months ago (the visualizing thing), but without listening to any subliminal or audio, and my mood completely tanked after a couple days of optimism. I was literally unable to be anything but pessimistic and unhappy about everything. It was quite strange, as if I "ran out" of thanks to give. I'm hopeful the same experience won't be repeated this time around.
