05-29-2018, 02:11 PM
DMSI news:
I forgot to run my loops last night since I was tired when I got home. I dismissed a bunch of normal things before I left for work too. I first began beating myself up, but I also remembered what I'd read about the bloom recently. So, I waited and looked for evidence that DMSI was running in my head.
Now, we worked in a large condominium association today, predominantly older people. However, I noticed half a dozen younger women (40's or so) doing their morning walks. This was exciting to me since for 2 years (pre-DMSI) I knew that I'd enjoyed being eye candy to these women. I felt I had a reputation. Well, I've imagined it many times
But something felt wrong. I'd assumed that I had to prey upon women, be studly
, and act confident. But the more I considered this, the more I realized I was not doing this at all.
I felt different than I'd felt in the 2 years doing this same location.....and something clicked. This is my good news today.
I first felt disappointed at myself. What was DMSI doing? Wasn't I supposed to be....(many questions plagued me)?
Then, I reflected on my honest admission to an IML newcomer this morning that I had gone on and off E2 and UD a number of times. What hit me is that........this will take some time. When I've returned to E2, I quickly feel emotional issues stirring, unlike when I started. I welcome it now--as that's why I've run it. And on UD, a sadness returns within 24 hours. UD was my emotional BS detector and cleanser, and it hits me soon after I start it.
And this morning I'd read Zane's reply to JCasterlin about DMSI in committed relationships: "DMSI will make you want to f*** every woman!" I've been gradually realizing that......I've wanted this too. DMSI is working in me, and I'm single
. I need to allow DMSI to sink in. It's been just over 2 weeks, so "patience grasshopper". DMSI is changing me from the inside.
I forgot to run my loops last night since I was tired when I got home. I dismissed a bunch of normal things before I left for work too. I first began beating myself up, but I also remembered what I'd read about the bloom recently. So, I waited and looked for evidence that DMSI was running in my head.
Now, we worked in a large condominium association today, predominantly older people. However, I noticed half a dozen younger women (40's or so) doing their morning walks. This was exciting to me since for 2 years (pre-DMSI) I knew that I'd enjoyed being eye candy to these women. I felt I had a reputation. Well, I've imagined it many times
But something felt wrong. I'd assumed that I had to prey upon women, be studly
, and act confident. But the more I considered this, the more I realized I was not doing this at all. I felt different than I'd felt in the 2 years doing this same location.....and something clicked. This is my good news today.
I first felt disappointed at myself. What was DMSI doing? Wasn't I supposed to be....(many questions plagued me)?
Then, I reflected on my honest admission to an IML newcomer this morning that I had gone on and off E2 and UD a number of times. What hit me is that........this will take some time. When I've returned to E2, I quickly feel emotional issues stirring, unlike when I started. I welcome it now--as that's why I've run it. And on UD, a sadness returns within 24 hours. UD was my emotional BS detector and cleanser, and it hits me soon after I start it.
And this morning I'd read Zane's reply to JCasterlin about DMSI in committed relationships: "DMSI will make you want to f*** every woman!" I've been gradually realizing that......I've wanted this too. DMSI is working in me, and I'm single
. I need to allow DMSI to sink in. It's been just over 2 weeks, so "patience grasshopper". DMSI is changing me from the inside.
I want to be FREE!
