I had an experience at work today which shows that IML subs are working. It points toward getting negativity out of my life, and also self validation.
I worked in the shop yard today; slow day due to Memorial Day. I worked with a man who, IMO, is still focused on a survival mentality. He's from another country but has lived in the US for most of his life. He's been trying to control what he feels and thinks about spiritual stuff, and since he had very negative experiences growing up, he opened the door to some of his fear-based conclusions today.
In short, he has been researching UFO's and how they're setting up a war on us. I've never looked into UFO's much, but he even got his girlfriend on the phone saying many people in their country have disappeared and not come back. My coworker's passion (?) for this subject began to annoy me for 2 reasons.
First, when he spoke, he was very afraid. Secondly, his unspoken message was "I'm not going to shut up until you validate me". I realized he had gone over the line being pushy, so I began to steer away from him.. He apparently was not hearing my "I don't like being treated like this". I felt like I was talking to a scared kid who was insisting that I agree with him (he's around my age, mid-40's).
And this isn't the first time he's ruminated on something negative, only to constantly check that I agreed with him. This made me angry. He left our work area for a while, and........I just wanted freedom from this dude's fricken annoying insistence that he be right. I imagined blowing up at him while he was away.
I'd told him I didn't agree with his fear-based mindset. I told him I used to be in those places, and it's NO FUN. I did resort to a low blow, saying some people are addicted to fear, which he agreed with, but did not take it in himself. i was seeing this today, after working with him days past in his fast-paced, fear-led busyness.
I have done the same, like I'm swimming in dangerous waters to feel anything emotionally, but I'm expecting anyone anywhere to pull me out of the water. It was a very dark place for me, and I very rarely was validated by others myself. Which gave life to more fear. On and on, over and over.
I was also tempted to go back to that "save my brother" mentality, which is why I kept the conversation open for a while. I wanted to save him. But it was him repeatedly going back to thrashing in dangerous waters which made me distance myself. It makes me sad knowing that people, and I too, have done this. I remember constantly feeling invaluable, and if someone rescued me, I thought I'd be valuable in someone's (anyone's) eyes. So I have created a lot of chaos in my life, seeking a rescue. IML subs have been working on me, and this change is easy to see.
DMSI has OGSF and E2's self validation modules, but I had thought it was old E2 messages in my head. For in the moment, I knew why his fear ranting was toxic for me. I knew it without thinking about it.
I never blew up. I just communicated my stance. But it drained me. I can't listen to that crap; it's contagious.
I worked in the shop yard today; slow day due to Memorial Day. I worked with a man who, IMO, is still focused on a survival mentality. He's from another country but has lived in the US for most of his life. He's been trying to control what he feels and thinks about spiritual stuff, and since he had very negative experiences growing up, he opened the door to some of his fear-based conclusions today.
In short, he has been researching UFO's and how they're setting up a war on us. I've never looked into UFO's much, but he even got his girlfriend on the phone saying many people in their country have disappeared and not come back. My coworker's passion (?) for this subject began to annoy me for 2 reasons.
First, when he spoke, he was very afraid. Secondly, his unspoken message was "I'm not going to shut up until you validate me". I realized he had gone over the line being pushy, so I began to steer away from him.. He apparently was not hearing my "I don't like being treated like this". I felt like I was talking to a scared kid who was insisting that I agree with him (he's around my age, mid-40's).
And this isn't the first time he's ruminated on something negative, only to constantly check that I agreed with him. This made me angry. He left our work area for a while, and........I just wanted freedom from this dude's fricken annoying insistence that he be right. I imagined blowing up at him while he was away.
I'd told him I didn't agree with his fear-based mindset. I told him I used to be in those places, and it's NO FUN. I did resort to a low blow, saying some people are addicted to fear, which he agreed with, but did not take it in himself. i was seeing this today, after working with him days past in his fast-paced, fear-led busyness.
I have done the same, like I'm swimming in dangerous waters to feel anything emotionally, but I'm expecting anyone anywhere to pull me out of the water. It was a very dark place for me, and I very rarely was validated by others myself. Which gave life to more fear. On and on, over and over.
I was also tempted to go back to that "save my brother" mentality, which is why I kept the conversation open for a while. I wanted to save him. But it was him repeatedly going back to thrashing in dangerous waters which made me distance myself. It makes me sad knowing that people, and I too, have done this. I remember constantly feeling invaluable, and if someone rescued me, I thought I'd be valuable in someone's (anyone's) eyes. So I have created a lot of chaos in my life, seeking a rescue. IML subs have been working on me, and this change is easy to see.
DMSI has OGSF and E2's self validation modules, but I had thought it was old E2 messages in my head. For in the moment, I knew why his fear ranting was toxic for me. I knew it without thinking about it.
I never blew up. I just communicated my stance. But it drained me. I can't listen to that crap; it's contagious.
I want to be FREE!
