03-10-2012, 12:33 PM
I've had a very rough couple of days. I've being very down on myself and feeling really low self esteem but things seemed to improve dramatically when I took a nap today. It may simply be that I'm exhausted and I need a good rest.
I went out into London last night and had some drinks with a friend. It was really strange in that I had a good time with my friend and we get along great but I found I was also in my head and feeling low self esteem as well as feeling unattractive to the women we met. Ironically whenever I met any women either through him or servers at the bar, they were really warm and outgoing to me. However I just spent a lot of time on the way home and in bed worrying about being perceived as creepy and giving myself mental torture.
Perhaps this is a sign that some very deep negative stuff is being destroyed by the subs. I also think it could be exhaustion. I tend to be very hard on myself and have a hard time relaxing. I feel like I should be doing something more meaningful rather then just relaxing and taking it easy. Like I imagine everyone is climbing mount Everest when I'm at home relaxing. I think that Shannon said he has a rule that he doesn't work when he is tired. Perhaps I should consider doing something similar. Also I can't wait to do Alpha Male, I think a few run throughs of that will clear my worries about women.
A good thing that happened is I finally fingered out to clean my house. I realised that one of the big mistakes I made is that I would try to clean and declutter at the same time. Now I realise that this is a huge mistake, it's actually better to just put everything not needed in boxes and sort it later. This meant I got both my bedroom and workroom (with my girlfriends help) cleaned in about an hour, however, with the method I was using before it would have taken at least a whole day, perhaps longer. Having a clean workroom and bedroom makes me feel much better.
I went out into London last night and had some drinks with a friend. It was really strange in that I had a good time with my friend and we get along great but I found I was also in my head and feeling low self esteem as well as feeling unattractive to the women we met. Ironically whenever I met any women either through him or servers at the bar, they were really warm and outgoing to me. However I just spent a lot of time on the way home and in bed worrying about being perceived as creepy and giving myself mental torture.
Perhaps this is a sign that some very deep negative stuff is being destroyed by the subs. I also think it could be exhaustion. I tend to be very hard on myself and have a hard time relaxing. I feel like I should be doing something more meaningful rather then just relaxing and taking it easy. Like I imagine everyone is climbing mount Everest when I'm at home relaxing. I think that Shannon said he has a rule that he doesn't work when he is tired. Perhaps I should consider doing something similar. Also I can't wait to do Alpha Male, I think a few run throughs of that will clear my worries about women.
A good thing that happened is I finally fingered out to clean my house. I realised that one of the big mistakes I made is that I would try to clean and declutter at the same time. Now I realise that this is a huge mistake, it's actually better to just put everything not needed in boxes and sort it later. This meant I got both my bedroom and workroom (with my girlfriends help) cleaned in about an hour, however, with the method I was using before it would have taken at least a whole day, perhaps longer. Having a clean workroom and bedroom makes me feel much better.
